The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #3)

by Matt Dinniman

The world froze. Music started to pulse. This was heavy metal. A deep, pulsing, bass-driven chugga-chugga-chugga. Ahh, fuck, I thought. A framed graphic of my face splattered into the air. The words Death Challenge! Stamped onto my face, with blood running from the words. Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a treat for you today. It’s the death of a celebrated crawler, Crawler Carl, brought to you live! Who will be the lucky monster to kill him? Who will it be? On the right, we have one of this floor’s most infamous monsters! A lost soul, some say. The current crawler-killer champion of the floor, with over 23,000 deaths attributed so far. The apex predator of her world, the voracious, the insatiable, the grand impersonator supreme! It’s a city boss! It’s a level 90 Mimic Rex! The mimic’s portrait slammed into place as the real mimic howled, its train-sized tongue whipping out of it and arcing toward me. The world froze again. But will she get to Carl fast enough? On the left, we have nothing short of a god, and while we’re all familiar with Grull, this is the Dungeon Crawler World debut of Grull’s sponsor. Coming to you for the first time ever, once thought dead, thought abandoned by his family, shunned by society, but ready for his comeback. It’s the host of Death Watch Extreme, it’s Prince Maestro of the Skull Empire! “What the shit?” I muttered as two more portraits slammed onto the screen with digital explosions.