The Charm Offensive

by Alison Cochrun

Dev ignores the way his skin hums at the touch, because they’re finally making progress, and Dev isn’t going to screw that up because a pretty man with a weak understanding of socially appropriate handshake lengths is touching him.

It’s knees under the Junipers table; it’s shaking hands on night one. For someone who hates touching, Charlie Winshaw is always leaning in and not leaning away.

And holy shit—Dev’s knees and Dev’s mouth and Dev’s Adam’s apple. He tries thinking about Daphne’s pretty blue eyes instead, but he can only see Dev’s dark ones, peering intensely at him behind his glasses. He tries to conjure the image of Angie’s soft body, but it’s superimposed with Dev’s wide shoulders, the slenderness of his hips, the sharp points and the beautiful brown skin and the smell of him.

God. I love a gay panic

Charlie sucks on Dev’s bottom lip, and Dev wishes he could keep this moment somehow. He wishes he could preserve it in the grooves of a vinyl record and fall asleep listening to the song on repeat.

“For someone who claims to love love, you’re really good at pushing it away.”

Eat him up

I bought plants to put in front of every window, and it took me days to realize you were the missing thing. I kept expecting to see you standing by the window, or in the third bedroom at the desk working on your script, or in the kitchen burning pancakes. I guess I really liked the idea of you being in my future, and I haven’t quite figured out how to not have you in it.”

Crying

Charlie blushes at Dev’s touch, and it’s right there for viewers to see. Charlie, an hour after they met, falling over himself because of Dev instead of Daphne. “You can do this,” Dev says, and Charlie gives a shy little smile, twisting something inside real Dev’s chest on the couch. “I believe in you.”

GAGGGG

“I don’t think happily ever after is something that happens to you, Dev. I think it’s something you choose to do for yourself.”

But sometimes this show makes you believe a relationship can help you fix yourself. As much as I grew over the course of the show, that growth was dependent on Dev, and when he left, I realized my happiness can’t be contingent on another person. I’ve been learning how to be healthy on my own, and wherever he is, I hope Dev’s doing the same thing.”

Love