The Charm Offensive

by Alison Cochrun

“I promise you, at least half the people you meet are secretly trying to fuck you, Charles. You’re just too innocent to notice.” “You know, the other nice thing about Dev is that he doesn’t mock me incessantly.” “Not to your face, anyway.” “That’s fantastic for my self-esteem, thank you.” “Oh, you love it when I mock you.” “I cannot imagine what has led you to believe this about me.”

(This is definitely about the stain and only the stain, and not about what happened before the stain, when Dev stood between his legs, and Charlie’s entire body ignited.)

Daphne: [Close-up of her staring down at Angie’s hand on her thigh.] You’ve dated… women? Angie: What, they don’t have bisexuals on the Georgia pageant circuit?

OH

(Charlie isn’t going to pull away. Dev’s hand is on his chest, and he’s not about to pull away.)

Jules cackles. “Wait. You’re serious? You actually think Charlie has feelings for Daphne?” “Yeah. Why?” He chews on his thumbnail. “Do you think Angie is a better fit for him?” Jules sighs and reaches over to scratch his arm. “Sure, Dev. That’s what I think.”

Charlie hates kissing, so why is he kissing Dev like his whole life depends on it? Charlie is straight, so why would he want to kiss Dev? Charlie is Charlie—beautiful, brilliant, carefully guarded Charlie—so why would he want to kiss Dev?

But Dev is so pretty. Sometimes Charlie forgets, and then he sees a glimpse of Dev, and the perfect geometry of his face catches Charlie unaware, like it’s the first time he saw him. Like he’s falling out of a car at this man’s feet over and over again.

Parisa is clearly more intimidating than Dev realized, so everyone is regretting the arrangement at this point. “I said be tough,” Ryan tells Parisa. “I did not say make them cry.”

Dev’s heart explodes like a glitter bomb inside him,

Gay. Homo.

almost as tall and almost as skinny as Dev, his skin the same dark brown. Dev shouts, “I’m obsessed with you!” in Leland Barlow’s face. “But like, not in a creepy way.” Leland Barlow looks him up and down and smiles. “You can be obsessed with me in a creepy way.” It is officially the greatest moment of Dev’s entire life.

Charlie’s robe is decorated with pink frangipani flowers, and it cuts him across the upper thigh. He looks. Well. He looks very gay, and when he first stepped out of the changing room, Dev turned very pale and stopped looking at anything south of Charlie’s chin.

“I don’t think happily ever after is something that happens to you, Dev. I think it’s something you choose to do for yourself.”