The Charm Offensive

by Alison Cochrun

“Crippling is a bit much. I like to think I’m sort of dabbling in depression.”

“You need to relax,” she drawls, as if telling someone to relax has ever once in the history of human beings yielded that outcome.

you look like the guy in a fancy cologne commercial, but you’re distinctly acting like the guy in an IBS medication commercial.” “I can be both of those guys simultaneously.”