Her Name Is Knight (Nena Knight, #1)

by Yasmin Angoe

She couldn’t stand when people were late and said it showed their disregard for others’ time.

Never take things personally.

And what will she want in return?

Because one thing I have learned is there is always a price.

Again, having such kindness shown to me and hearing myself referred to by an actual name is alien to me. I feel unworthy of the attention they bestow on me.

There was unbelievable pride in Black women’s hair. Their hair was their crown, their superpower, something women taught each other to care for, as Nena’s first mother had taught her.

“Find the thing that helps you remember your mum the most and keep her with you, because you don’t have to let her go, ever. But you also make room in your heart for others to get the privilege of loving you as well.”

it. I live each moment in this opulence like it is my last, because I have conditioned myself. Nothing good stays good, for me.

Maybe

the message was that it was better to have those you loved in any capacity—even if they came back murderously evil—than to not have them at all.

My story, who I am, is more than these people have bargained for.

“What is it that you want more than anything right now?” Ms. Delphine asks. “Anything in the world?” The answer comes out as quickly as breath. “To not be afraid anymore.”

There is no amount of safety to keep you from harm. There is only the safety you can give yourself, and that type of safety is what I need for me.

“I want to be able to make myself safe. I want to learn how to protect myself, to know how to this time, to keep others safe. I want to walk around without fear.”

“You want your power back.” I look him squarely in his eyes, my heart lifting because he understands what I want, what I need to begin to heal.

But watching Mum strengthens my resolve to become the best at whatever I do from this moment forward. I resolve to make amends to my first family, to no longer know fear.

Because I can stand no further delays in reclaiming who I am.

“When emotion is at the helm, mistakes happen. You’ll learn to leave all your feelings behind. You must be methodical,

“Surprise is a luxury you can’t always afford, so always assume they know you’re coming.

Nena luxuriated in Cort’s arms, knowing he was the first man, aside from either of her fathers, with whom she’d ever felt safe. It was a feeling that Nena knew once she had, she never wanted to be without again.

“It’s okay to accept help once in a while, you know. You got people, girl. I’m your people.”

It was as if all the pain of his years fighting for acceptance, his feelings of inadequacy, real or imagined, culminated in this one moment.

She’d realized her guilt was self-imposed and needless.