I blamed the wish I’d made on my eleventh birthday. Endless adventure? Fucking dumbass. I’d read enough books to know endless adventure was a curse, not a gift. Just look at Frodo Baggins! He was almost eaten by a giant spider and that wasn’t even the worst day of his life. Bilbo had tried to warn him, but did he listen? Oh no, he went off on his little hobbity adventure and look at all the monsters he’d faced. I’d wished for the same, but my monsters weren’t spiders – which I actually had a fondness for, just check out the badass tattoo on my forearm of a web and the little spider hanging
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