I can’t blame her for not caring that Declan died. Hope never expected to see him again, because that was the deal. When she drove me to the hospital with a wad of paper towels pressed to the back of my gashed-open head, she agreed to stay quiet. As long as he stayed away for good. But he didn’t stay away, and that part is one hundred percent on me. Three weeks after Declan put me in the hospital, I bought his shit, dried his tears, and quietly added him to the rafting roster. Because he begged and cried and, God, why did I believe him? Why was I that girl?
