Red, White, and Whole: A Newbery Honor Novel in Verse about an Indian American Girl Navigating Identity and Grief

by Rajani LaRocca

So I’m caught between the life I want to lead and the one she thinks I should.

My supervisor asked me to stop wearing my bindi so my coworkers and our patients aren’t uncomfortable. Does that make you sad? Yes, kanna.

Reha! I hear as Amma rushes to me. That is when it hurts.

is a game of chance. What does the DJ feel like playing? How does he reach into your mind from the radio station downtown and pick the perfect song, exactly what you need to hear? Sometimes people call in to make requests, but I don’t want to disturb the magic of hearing the song I want most without having to ask. Drumbeats pumping guitars thrumming synthesizers bopping saxophones wailing and melodies melodies that make you melodies that make you throw back your head and sing for all the world, with lyrics that are poetry

It’s about what happens when the bad guys fight back, and fight back hard. It’s about learning how to be a hero in spite of the fact that your dad is the most evil guy in the universe.

No matter where I go, America or India,

I don’t quite fit.

But I am always halfway, caught between the life my parents want and the one I have to live.

The girl loved her parents, but she also loved the country where she was born and growing up. And sometimes she felt caught between the two worlds she lived in: the one where her parents came from, and the one where they all lived now. Sometimes, she was embarrassed by her parents. Sometimes, she was frustrated that they wouldn’t let her do all the things her friends did.

“You don’t have to worry about living in two worlds. You live in only one world, and that is the world in which we love you. No matter what your choices are. We raised you, we trust you, and we love you.”

Pete doesn’t believe things just because our teacher tells us. He asks lots of questions, so many that he sometimes annoys other kids in class.

Together, we decide that a hero: Is brave, but not without fear. Because if you fear nothing, how can you be brave? Says what they believe is right. Because if you cannot say what you believe in, how much do you believe in it? Works to make the world better. Because doing something is even more important than talking about it. Acts out of love for others. Because caring for other people is the biggest difference between a hero and a villain.

singing together makes me feel like I’m telling her some of the things I can’t tell her by talking.

A mother gives you life, nourishes you, protects you, helps you when you’re hurt. But sometimes it feels like too much.

A hero is brave, but not without fear. Says what they believe is right. Works to make the world better. Acts out of love for others.

A mother is like life’s blood Nourishing you Protecting you Helping you stop hurting Until she is gone. I am still here, but she cannot stay.

And know this: you belong. You belong to this country, where you are growing up. And you belong to India, where your blood is from. You belong to both, and they both belong to you.

We all contain multitudes, and not only is that okay, it is essential. I hope you enjoyed reading this book of my heart. I hope it helps you understand that even when you feel torn apart, you can still be a whole person—not just despite the things you struggle with, but because of them.