when they were tiny, one of us was usually touching the child—wearing him, carrying him, sleeping with him. Now they are adventurous and polite, with senses of humor and justice. They know to honor good rules and question bad ones. We have told them that sometimes we’ll make mistakes and give them bad rules, but we are 100 percent on their team, and they should ask why our rules are what they are, but it is counterproductive to simply break them for the sake of breaking them. For the most part, they don’t.