They understood that bereavement is messy, and it goes beyond just being hurt. They knew that it can shatter the very foundation you walk upon, your sense of self, your idea of what the future looks like. They related to how it ends your innocence and forces you into an adult understanding of our mortality that can be unbearable. But not everyone has gone through that kind of loss. And it’s impossible to expect them to understand how grief can turn you into the darkest, least reasonable version of yourself.