Soon, I found myself roaming an empty house, the kids increasingly either out and about, or locked up in their rooms studying or playing video games or doing god knows what. I had a bedroom – and a bathroom – to myself. I could watch the footy in my underwear with a six-pack and a pizza. I could flick through hours of porn on my laptop or my phone. I could jack off in the bath or at my desk or on the bed or in the closet for all anyone cared.
Ha!
