Within These Wicked Walls

by Lauren Blackwood

If I had to rank the best feelings in the world, having my scalp massaged would come in at a close third, right behind having a full stomach and the ability to easily empty my bowels.

His gaze drew me in like a beacon. It was difficult to think when he was looking at me so fully.

Magnus had a mask of offense over his amusement. “God, Andromeda. Stop making me reflect on my own failures. What a cruel punishment.” “Then practice more.” “I’d rather not work that hard.” “Then be content with mediocrity.”

This time when he gaped at me it was real. He played with the edge of the page again. “You truly are terrifying sometimes. Not in a horror sort of way, but … you make me feel things brutally. And think things deeply. And you make me sweat a lot.

Magnus held a lot of heat, as men tended to naturally do, and I found myself sitting right up against him, arm to arm.

I think … I could’ve survived on that laugh alone, if surviving in this world didn’t require money.

His arm had to leave me to do it, and I missed it as soon as it left.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for the past two days?” he asked, but I was already walking away. “Or are you just ashamed to admit you enjoyed kissing me?” I halted, my face flaring red as I turned back to him. “Don’t flatter yourself.” “To be fair, I do better when I’m prepared.” “Good for you,” I said, unamused. He let out a small laugh. “Just so you know, today I’m prepared.”

His cold hands held my face, soothing my burning cheeks. “If I fired you, I’d probably never see you again. I want to see you every day of my life.” “Magnus,” I groaned. I held his hands holding my cheeks, my vision blurring the slightest bit. “This isn’t as right as it feels. There’s a clear power imbalance.” “I agree,” he said, leaning closer. “But I shall do my best to submit to your dominance with the grace of a gentleman.”

This kiss wasn’t like the last one. It was certain and sweet … it felt like a promise. Not a promise of pain. A promise to look after my heart. To maybe—someday—even love me. A promise to not throw me away.

“Hard truths aren’t for everyone, Andromeda. Sometimes the only mercy is to lie. We’re not all as strong as you are.”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before looking him square in the eye. “I am content to maintain the dignity of not giving myself to a man who is spoken for.”

Magnus cut me off before I could go further, standing on the stairs in front of me to make us eye level. “Tell me you don’t want me.” He took hold of my waist and I grabbed his wrists without purpose, my heart suddenly unable to make him let go. “Say you’re only here for a patronage, that you don’t care for me at all, and I’ll leave you to your work.” He cradled my face and I closed my eyes to press back tears. “Because if you dare leave me a shred of hope, I will fight to have you with the last drop of blood in my body.”

Magnus made a small sound of confirmation. “She’s a smart woman.” A deep silence stretched. “Not sure how I attract such smart, caring women when I’m such a disaster of a man.”

“Lust might be part of it, but it’s too crude a word for my feelings for you.”

“Oh, my little gentle-heart. You had every right. I’m so sorry.”

“The ancient Greeks believed,” he said, “that humans were born with four arms, four legs, and two faces. Then some jealous god tore them apart, leaving them to search the earth for the missing half of their soul.”

“It’s not about surviving. It’s about living. I’m not convinced I was truly doing that before you.” He leaned closer, and my heart picked up. “And now I know I won’t last without you. You are my soulmate, my meaning, the entire point to my existence.”

Men seemed to need periodic babysitting, but women came already fully capable—unless they were unable to work or wanted children.

“Good morning to you too, my little sunbeam,” he whispered to the crown of my head.

“Love is an action. It’s something you do.”

But there was nothing to fear here … only memories. Those could only hurt you if you let them.