Olive

by Emma Gannon

Many people make the mistake of kicking friendships aside for the other seemingly more important strands of life, but we all know it’s friendship that really keeps you afloat.

Society rewards couples so much. Life is just so much easier in a couple. Cheaper, easier, more logical: take couple-discounted train tickets, for example, or splitting bills, or tax benefits! It’s also someone to share the mental load of household admin, someone to share the driving with on a long journey, someone to share a holiday with and be a plus-one to boring parties and weddings.

“Just remember, when you get to my age, you never remember the little things that used to worry you or keep you up at night. You mostly look back fondly on the good times—they become clearer in your mind,”

“Well, you must remember that no decision is ever really the wrong decision. Because it’s the decision you made at the time. Respect your past self and her choices,”

Each woman I know carries it—shame—but it’s a different shape for us all. There is always a hidden shame related to motherhood; whether you want a baby, or you don’t, or whether you hate being a mother, or whether you love it more than anything else in your life. I know what it’s like to want something, to pine and long and cry for something. I have longed for boys who didn’t love me; I have longed for a new version of myself, longed for a dream job, longed for my cozy bed after a week of camping

I don’t think having a baby is a one-way ticket to having forever happiness or a new best friend. Children also move away; they might fall in love with someone on the other side of the world, reducing your relationship to an inconveniently timed Skype call.

You know, people often believe that having children means unconditional love guaranteed, and someone to care for you as you get older. It’s just not the case.”

“The time will come / when, with elation / you will greet yourself arriving / at your own door, in your own mirror / and each will smile at the other’s welcome.”

reminder to feast on one’s own life. Let go of your guilt, Ol. Women are made to feel guilty for everything. The food we eat, the bodies we have, the relationships that don’t work out. We must accept the challenge and refuse to take on this guilt.”

“Maybe some things, no matter how right they were at the time, do change. Maybe nothing is actually within our control, and we can’t prepare for anything.”

“Have you ever questioned that maybe nothing was wrong with you in the first place? That nothing needed fixing? That you are right where you are meant to be? There are so many ways to live a fulfilled life. What you do, the people you impact; it’s all so valuable.”