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But that was the thing about guilt. It didn’t give a damn about facts or reason. It sprouted from the tiniest seeds of doubt, slipped through the cracks of your psyche, and by the time you realized what the ugly darkness oozing through your veins was, it’d already burrowed itself so deep you couldn’t dig it out without losing a part of yourself.
What was he doing? Eating babies and ruining lives, probably.
But there were times, like now, when I yearned to experience that kind of unconditional love. To have someone care for me through the good, the bad, and the inevitable mistakes I made. What would it be like to be loved so deeply by someone I wouldn’t have to worry about every little move possibly driving them away?
Grief wasn’t one emotion; it was a hundred emotions wrapped in a dark shroud.
“The monsters in our imagination are often worse than those in reality.”
Well, fuck, man.
He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Patience.” “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds boring.” I stifled a laugh when he side-eyed me. “You’re insufferable.” “So you keep saying, yet you missed me and you’re on a date with me. What does that say about you?” “That I’m a glutton for a beautiful punishment.”
At some point, we had to let go of who a person used to be or who they could be and see them for who they really were.
The great thing about having a morally questionable best friend was that they didn’t question you when you did morally questionable things.
Because the possibility of you is better than the reality of anyone else.”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
“I don’t give a fuck if he’s a multimillionaire and plastered on every magazine in the world. He could be the King of fucking England, but he’ll never give you what I’m willing to give you.” The goosebumps multiplied. “What’s that?” “Everything.”
“My heart. My soul. My dignity. What do you want me to do, Jules?” His voice splintered into something jagged and painful. “Do you want me to fucking beg? Say the word, and I’ll be on my knees.”
He…said…he’d…be…on HIS KNEES!!!! BAAHGAHSIDHWJWOAISHDNNF
