The Beginning of Spring

by Penelope Fitzgerald

The people she wrote about in her novels and biographies were outsiders, too: misfits, romantic artists, hopeful failures, misunderstood lovers,

orphans and oddities. She was drawn to unsettled characters who lived on the edges.

Her view of the world was that it divided into ‘exterminators’ and ‘exterminatees’. She would say: ‘I am drawn to people who seem to have been born defeated or even profoundly lost.’ She was a humorous writer with a tragic sense of life.

‘Life’, a cab driver says to Frank Reid near the opening of this novel, ‘makes its own corrections’.

Fresh confusions will replace the old, men and women will continue to mistake themselves, and in the midst

of it there will be the casual glory of a world that doesn’t much care what we do.

In all his married life he couldn’t remember having had more than two or three letters from Nellie. It hadn’t been necessary—they were hardly ever apart, and in any case she talked a good deal. Not so much recently, perhaps.

‘Elena Karlovna has gone away,’ he said, ‘and she has taken the three children with her, how long for I don’t know. She hasn’t told me when she will come back.’

The driver replied that women were only company for each other. They were created for each other, and talked to each other all day. At night they were too tired to be of any use. ‘But we weren’t meant to live alone,’ said Frank. ‘Life makes its own corrections.’

His father had always held that the human mind is indefinitely elastic, and that by the very nature of things we were never called upon to undertake more than we could bear. Frank had always felt doubtful about this.

Frank’s father, Albert Reid, had looked ahead—not quite far enough, perhaps, but to see too clearly in Russia is a mistake, leading to loss of confidence.

Tolstoy is a very great man, Frank,’ he continued. ‘Fortunately, though, one doesn’t have to judge of great men by the oddities of their disciples.

while giving it out as his opinion that buying or selling of any kind or description is a sin against mankind.

It’s rather, he said, that wealth shouldn’t be used for the benefit of individuals.

‘There shouldn’t be such a state of mind as expectation,’ interrupted Mrs Graham. ‘One gets too dependent on the future.’

mahorka.’ Not always, thought Frank, but

A tobacc

She was, or probably was, a kind-hearted woman, but she was too sharp, Frank thought. All sharp people, no matter whether they were men or women, were tiring.

Mrs. Geaham

Learning should not be associated with enforcement, but with freedom and joy.

But it struck him now that Mrs Graham, who could act very quickly if she thought fit, had told Miss Kinsman, during those few minutes while he was in the hall, about his difficulties. She had tipped Miss Kinsman the wink. Everyone knew that Nellie had gone, and on this delicate subject all, apparently, were experts. With the ruthlessness of the timid, Miss Kinsman was coming after him now to suggest that she would be suitable for the post of governess at 22 Lipka Street.

Very likely they were repair shops, there was nothing you couldn’t get repaired in Moscow, a city which in its sluggish, maternal way cared, as well as for the rich, for the poorest of the poor. Bring me your broken shoes, your worn-out mattresses, your legless chairs, your headless beds, and in some basement workshop or hole in the wall, I will make them serviceable, at least for a few months or so. They will be fit to use, or at least fit to take to the pawnbroker’s.

But, you see, it’s a matter of some urgency. Really, my passage for England is booked for tomorrow, if I can’t find any other employment here, that is. All I need is his address, Mr Reid’s address. That, of course, you must have, as you’re one of the business community here, even though he must be a younger man than yourself.’ She looked at him from the deeper shadow of her hat. ‘I wouldn’t have troubled you, only I should have to speak to him tonight.’

‘He has young children, I know that. Otherwise I shouldn’t need to speak to him.’

‘I’m sorry to disappoint you, Miss Kinsman, but I’m sure that this wouldn’t be a good moment to speak to Frank Reid.’

‘Ultimately, you see, nobody is interested in me but myself. Certainly you, a total stranger, can’t possibly be. But I have to make do with the material I have.’

‘Miss Kinsman. I’m quite sure that if you did see Frank Reid, it wouldn’t lead to anything. I know him quite well enough for that.’

Mrs Graham said ‘Really, I expected to read something about you in the Gazeta-Kopeika. Everyone thought you were going to push her into the river.’

‘Mrs Graham, I got the impression that Miss Kinsman wanted to have a post with me in Lipka Street, as governess to my children.’

‘The worst thing about you, Selwyn, is that you make everyone else feel guilty. I feel guilty now. You’d better bring this girl to see me.’

As the three children came back, Annushka silent under Dolly’s stern control, it struck Frank that they should be showing, so much more than they did, the effect of motherlessness. They ought either to be quieter or more noisy than before, and it was disconcerting that they seemed to be exactly the same. He would have been heartbroken if they had shown the least symptom of unhappiness, but was disturbed because they didn’t.

‘A man lives under the rule of nature. He can’t look after children, and he can’t live alone.’

‘I can’t see why a man shouldn’t live alone, whoever he is, as long as he stays sober.’

‘That’s what you say, Frank Albertovich, but your wife left only a few days ago and you’ve taken a woman into your house already.’

‘It doesn’t mean anything,’ said Dolly, looking up for the first time. ‘My teacher says there is no God.’

Dolly ignored him. ‘She’s thought about everything for a long time, and she says there is no God.’

Her great beauty was her eyes, which were not particularly large and quite close together, but a long oval in shape and dark grey in colour, with dark lashes, the lower lid raised a little, as though she was always expecting to look into a bright light.

Lisa after haircut

‘I’m sorry you never managed to study, if

what you wanted to do. If you need help, or if you need anything else, anything at all, please ask me.’ He expected her to reply with the well-tried phrases ‘You’re very good,’ or ‘you’re a good man, Frank Albertovich,’ but instead she said that there were people who needed help more than she did. That’s unquestionably true, he thought, and perhaps I’m one of them. But he felt disconcerted.

The day after the break-in, he allowed himself, as he had done then, to expect the spring. He knew he had an awkward day ahead, although he’d always thought, until the last week or so, that he enjoyed difficulties. Perhaps he still did.

Hand-printing is associated now with Tolstoyans and student revolutionaries and activists in garrets and cellars. The future belongs to hot metal, of course.’

Bernov, however, urged that Reidka’s should give up the small jobs altogether. Rent more warehouses, install linotype and print newspapers.

‘Very simply. I’m glad you asked me. More pay for more efficiency. English and German firms have a system of merit rating for their workers. I don’t know if we shall ever accept that here.

Zakuske

A heavy Russianhourdouve served with vodka

‘Look at the government expenditure this year! A hundred and ten million roubles on railways, eighty million roubles on education. Education means cheap printed books. They could be produced and even bound on the premises, using strong cartridge paper.’

Thomas Huxley had written that if only there was some proof of the truth of religion, humanity would clutch at it as a drowning man clutches at a hencoop. But as long as mankind doesn’t pretend to believe in something they see no reason to believe, because there might be an advantage in pretending—as long as they don’t do that, they won’t have sunk to the lowest depths.

Why he had felt alarmed when Dolly told him that her teacher said there was no God, he didn’t know. The alarm suggested that as a rational being he was unsuccessful. Either that, or he had come to think of religion as something appropriate to women and children, and that would be sinking to a lower depth than Huxley had dreamed of. Perhaps, Frank thought, I have faith, even if I have no beliefs.

God has given you patience, to take the place of your former happiness.’

What did you get rid of? Frank thought. Epidemics of cholera, draughts, mice, political opponents, bad habits. Ben had meant no harm, of course, quite the contrary. ‘Get rid of’ had been a favourite expression of Nellie’s.

‘They’re unusual kiddies,’ said Charlie. ‘They’ve got a quaint way with them. You can’t tell what’s going on in a child’s mind, of course. Those two join in the conversation quite freely, but that doesn’t mean you can tell what they’re thinking.

‘No, I don’t want to talk to him,’ Frank answered in English. ‘Stay here, I’m in love with you.’

When he got back, Lisa brought in the children to say good-night, something which had never happened to him before, and which he thought only happened in other families. It was most unusual, to begin with, for them all to agree to go to bed at the same time.