While I lack irrefutable evidence to prove this theory, I do have a lengthy list of indicators that imply that I’m his girlfriend. Exhibit A: He introduced me to the doorman at his apartment and told him that he would be seeing more of me from now on. Exhibit B: I noticed that he bought (or more likely, someone bought it for him) the exact brand of coffee creamer that I get at Whole Foods and now keeps it in his fridge. Exhibit C: On the nights when we’re not having toe-curling, scream-at-the-ceiling, text-your-best-friend-from-the-bathroom, delete-all-your-past-hookups’-phone-numbers sex, we
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