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I, Jamie Hawke, front man for BoP, rock star extraordinaire, am gay. I’m deep, deep inside my closet, but definitely gay. And this producer I’m potentially about to work with? He’s exactly my type.
He’s so close I notice he has a thin ring of yellow around his pupils. The way it swirls together with the orange surrounding it makes me think of melted caramel on ice cream. I need to get out of the room—immediately.
I should change my name to Charlotte with the complicated web of lies I weave.
“Just be grateful you aren’t meeting all of The Coven tonight.” Vince scrolls to pick Bowser. “The Coven?” I choke out. Am I going to have to drink some Kool-Aid or something? I quickly scan their feet to make sure they aren’t all wearing matching sneakers or anything.
Me—I’m reeling. The guy I find attractive. The guy I have a crush on. The first guy I’ve liked probably ever isn’t straight like I suspected—he’s gay. Out of the closet gay. This changes everything. Except…it doesn’t. Because at the end of the day, I am very much in the closet. Fuck my life.
I cup a hand behind his head, slam him against the wall, and crash my mouth on his.
Looking around the room, I wish for the courage to admit the truth. But more than anything, I want to be brave like Sammy and stop hiding. What’s scarier though? Coming out isn’t what scares me most anymore. Losing Sammy is.
“I love you, Spins. I love you so much it scares me. But even the thought of losing you petrifies me. Any fear of what coming out will do to my life pales in comparison to what a life without you will do to me.”
"How about we keep on making each other better for the rest of our lives? Marry me?" There are girlish squeals and people shushing, but they only serve as background noise to the only words I want to hear. "You're goddamn right I will."
