Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao

by Wayne W. Dyer

Ritual is the husk of true faith, the beginning of chaos.

Trust your own essential nature. Let go of all polarities and live in the indivisible oneness that is the Tao. The dichotomies of good/bad, right/wrong, proper/improper, legal/illegal, and the like can be difficult—just remember that when they surface, the Tao is lost.

When man interferes with the Tao, the sky becomes filthy, the earth becomes depleted, the equilibrium crumbles, creatures become extinct.

Even 2,000 years ago, this was known.

It’s spirit that gives life. So to truly live out your destiny as a piece of the originating Tao, you must shed your ego and return to spirit—or you can wait until your body dies and make your return trip at that time.

The Way is only attractive to those who are already wise enough to know how foolish they are. Sarcastic laughter from other fools who believe themselves wise does not deter the truly wise from following the Way. Following the Way, they do not become complicated, extraordinary, and prominent. Rather they become simple, ordinary, and subtle.

You’ll experience times of darkness, but your new vision will eventually illuminate your inner world.

So when life looks difficult, stop and realize that you’re only one thought removed from being at peace. You’ll know what Lao-tzu meant when he said that the easy way seems hard, and true power seems like weakness. You don’t have to struggle or dominate others in order to feel strong.

Less effort is actually easier—work gets done when you lighten up internally and let yourself be moved along by the ceaseless Tao, rather than by setting goals or meeting standards set by others.

The outward appearance of anyone or anything may appear tarnished, but a Tao view will remind you that essential goodness is always there. It’s hidden and nameless, though, so don’t be obsessed with finding and labeling it.

Which means more to you, you or your renown? Which brings more to you, you or what you own? I say what you gain is more trouble that what you lose.

Contentment alone is enough. Indeed, the bliss of eternity can be found in your contentment.

Calling your behavior “bad” or “good” just pits you against yourself and others by using competition, punishment, or dislike as your motivational markers—hatred, anger, and threats become necessary because love, acceptance, and kindness can’t be trusted.

Not living by hidden virtue, on the other hand, ensures that your role in a family or culture is assigned at birth (or even conception), with predetermined expectations about how you should and will function. Your days become filled with stressful attempts to please those to whom you’re biologcally related. You experience the nagging self-criticism that you’re disappointing a parent or grandparent, along with unsettling desires to be free of the pressure of your gender or placement in a designated family. Trying to operate within this belief system can consequently keep you trapped in an unpleasant and intolerable role of servitude and obsequiousness.

The Source, your great Mother, has no investment in the choices you make during your individual journey—it knows that the seedling that was you is perfect and free to complete itself in whatever way it chooses. This Mother, which is the Tao, has no expectations for you . . . no demands, no battles or wars for you to fight, no history to live up to.

The 51st verse is about learning to trust by changing your view of life to include Te, or hidden virtue. It’s about seeing yourself as a member of a family of oneness, with the same parents as all other creatures. It’s about feeling your total freedom—to produce without possessing, and to keep from becoming a possession yourself. So give without expecting, and don’t be victimized by the expectations of others.

My crown is in my heart, not on my head; Not deck’d with diamonds and Indian stones, Nor to be seen. My crown is call’d content; A crown it is that seldom kings enjoy.

For example, when I simply say to my teenage daughter, “I know that you’re perfectly capable of being responsible and sensible while I’m out of town, and I love that about you,” I remove the “authoritarian parent” label and treat her the way I’d want to be treated.

Or you're being passive aggressive.

So rather than being angry and hateful toward opponents in a tennis match or football game, see them as a part of you that’s working to help you achieve excellence. Without them, you couldn’t improve, get a good workout, or become victorious.

Shift your focus from being upset or self-reproaching to the task at hand. See the ball, move the ball, or remain upright and balanced in a martial-arts contest. When anger isn’t a component, your game will go to a new level.

Affirm that you’ll think of your opponent as an extension of yourself in your next competitive encounter. Vow to mentally send that person love, surround him or her in light, and pray that he or she will perform at the highest level. Then note how your own performance improves and carries you to a new level of excellence.

When armies are evenly matched, the one with compassion wins.

Resentments don’t come from the conduct of the other party in an altercation—no, they survive and thrive because you’re unwilling to end that altercation with an offering of kindness, love, and authentic forgiveness.