How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

by Katy Milkman

Because you care about gaining peer approval, feeling watched by groups of other people changes your behavior. To use peer visibility to promote change without creating blowback, rather than publicly shaming people for undesirable behavior, give them the chance to earn public praise (or opt out). If a behavior is merely growing in popularity, rather than an existing norm, sharing information about that upward trend can change others’ behavior. If the achievements of your peers feel vastly out of reach, witnessing or learning about social norms can discourage you from pursuing change rather than encouraging it. Social pressure can be used to coerce people. So, before using social norms to influence friends, family, or coworkers, take your moral responsibility seriously. If you notice someone using social pressure on you in a way that makes you nervous, slow down, dodge face-to-face interactions with that person, and talk with a devil’s advocate to improve your decisions and avoid becoming a victim of coercion.