And I could not describe it to him or even to myself, but it was a private quiet horror that sat beside me often, and at night in bed I could not be quite as I had once been with him, and I tried to not let him know this, but he knew of course, and when I think how I had felt such despair those nights he did not reach for me before we were married, I can understand how he must have felt during our marriage; he must have felt humiliated and bewildered. And there seemed nothing to be done about it. And nothing was done about it. Because I could not speak of it and William became less happy and
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Wow. This is so interesting to me and something I have been thinking about a lot- people grow up, move away from their families and settle down in unknown places. Is it normal to feel a longing for the people and places you’ve left? Everyone seems to carry on like it’s nothing, and you never really know what’s going on in their hearts. Here she’s describing the longing and separation from her mother and family and perhaps the isolation that comes from leaving behind a significant portion of your life to start a new one.
