The children and adults we work with are so used to chaos, they actually feel more comfortable when it’s chaotic than when it’s calm. So when they get into a classroom or a new foster home where people are predictable and consistent and thoughtful, it makes them feel uncomfortable. Little by little, they get more and more uncomfortable until they provoke a predictable response. I have teachers and foster parents tell me, “He almost acts like he wants to get punished.” And, to a certain extent, they’re right. He is seeking a predictable response from the world. And predictable, for him, means
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