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Torin acted like it was due to our bond that I’d gotten control so fast, sounding all proud and shit when he said it. About the same way he sounded when he talked about the size of his dick, so it clearly wasn’t that hard to impress him.
He’d made a mistake in revoking the rejection because I was the fucking queen here, and I would sacrifice them all to learn my truth.
1. Figure out what happened to me in the two months my memory was wiped. 2. Search out the catalyst for my father attacking the alpha. 3. Determine if Simone is safe and proceed to yell at her for worrying me. 4. Find out exactly why the Shadow Beast cursed us to lose time. Did it impact all the packs or only Torma? And why is no one more concerned by this abuse of power? 5. Make sure Lucinda Callahan, a.k.a. Mom, is alive and shacked up with an alpha. Then forget about her as solidly as she’s always forgotten about me. 6. Figure out why my heart is fluttering and palm itching.
7. Kill the motherfucker who decided I couldn’t touch myself to bring pleasure.
Simone, who had been missing for two fucking months with only these two fucking idiots unsuccessfully looking for her.
“My father called me ‘Sunny’ because of my hair. Callahan hair,” I murmured, half-caught in the past. Mika shot me a commiserating stare. “He called you ‘Sunny’ for more reason than one. He said you had the power of a burning light inside you. A demon power.”
“You’re the first new friend I’ve made in a long time. Apologies in advance for the full force of my personality, but if you think you can handle it, you’ll never have to question my loyalty.”
Sam cleared her throat. “Oh, good. I was worried I’d be the dramatic one in this friendship.” “Rest assured…” I choked out. “You have no need to worry on that front.” She actually laughed, and somehow I felt a tiny bit better.
“Yep, a book murderer, and if we find them, I’ll help you bury the damn body.” She was dead serious, and I was right there with her.
My soul raged, in a way I had never felt before, eclipsing even the near complete destruction of the pain in my body. Shadow Beast. He was not my enemy, or the being who had stolen my memories. He was my… everything.
For starters, no more pretending I wasn’t in love with the Shadow Beast. Desperately, desperately in love. A beast I had forgotten in my head but never in my heart. I knew now that Shadow was the main reason Torin had always felt like a spoiled, selfish, weak, petulant brat. Shadow Beast was anything but weak. He was worthy beyond all others, and it was time that I tracked him down… and made that bastard repair my library. Right after he fucked me silly.
“Our demons match, Shadow. Our souls match. Come back to me.”
The last of Dannie’s spell had been expunged from my soul. “Sunshine?” My knees hit the ground, a sob shaking my chest as I ended up on all fours, unable to get my shit together. Sunshine. How could I have ever forgotten Sunshine? How could I have forgotten Shadow? “Shadowshine,” I choked out, and before I could lift my head, tears tracing my skin again, Shadow was there, drawing me up and into his arms.
If he didn’t love me, it wouldn’t break me. Mostly because he’d get there eventually. My plan to grow on him like some sort of exotic fungus was in full swing.
replaced with fire as he cupped my face. “You’re the match to my soul, Sunshine,” he rumbled through the power surrounding us. “You are my one. The only being I would destroy worlds for, and I’m afraid I did just that.”
Our kiss was bittersweet and perfect. A kiss to soothe and heal. A kiss to cleanse our pain from many bitter nights apart. A kiss to break the final dredges of Dannie’s spell. A kiss of love. No matter what my beast might think. 23 Shadow always kissed like he never wanted to stop.
Only death would tear us apart, and we were ready to fight it every step of the way.
I closed my eyes and absorbed those words. “I think that’s why I love the stories with villains instead of heroes as the main characters,” I whispered. “Heroes are limited because they always have to do the right thing. But villains aren’t restricted by their moral compasses. They will do literally anything and destroy anyone who tried to hurt those they love. I think, deep down, I’ve always considered myself a villain. In that way.”
“What happened to your true mate?” There’d been no mention of Ixana and I wanted to know where that bitch currently was. Shadow met my gaze, the gold in his eyes bleeding into red flames. “She had her memory wiped and ended up in Torma.” It took me an embarrassingly long time to understand what he meant. And it wasn’t like he’d spoken in code or anything. It was just… fuck. “What?” He shook his head at me. “I won’t say it again, Sunshine. You heard me the first time.” “You consider me to be your true mate now.” My words were slow and confused. His scoff indicated that he was already annoyed
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“Who is your true mate, Sunshine?” “You.” There was no hesitation in my voice. Shadow owned every part of me, and I would take whatever Dannie put us through just to have these moments with him. “You are my true mate,” he confirmed as he kissed me, the slight copper of my blood between us. “You’re mine in all ways, and for that, Torin is dead when I have some time to waste. I’m already anticipating the day we never speak about that bastard again.”
“Mera was who you lost,” Shadow said bluntly. “We all lost her, and apparently, she’s the humanity that holds us all together.”
“This level is a good start,” Angel said, pulling that water page up toward her until there was a grating sound of her tearing the page free. “What the fuckery?” I muttered, staring at the shimmering piece of “land” she held, no larger than a piece of printer paper. Angel winked at me, and then she opened her mouth and… ate the freaking page.
“You are both just super old,” I reminded them, hoping to lighten the mood. “Don’t be too hard on yourselves.”
we will have all the eternities together, Sunshine. You’re mine, for now and always.”
“We don’t have packs in the desert lands, but we do have dynasties. Family units. Shadow is my family, and now… so are you. We will fight with you today, and if we die, there are no regrets.” “Dammit,” I choked out. “You’re not supposed to make me cry before we go into a life-and-death battle.”
Len sighed dramatically. “I really miss the days when the bad guys just tried to kill you without pretty speeches. If you’ve heard one, you’ve heard them all.”
“I heard your words when you were in your wolf form,” Shadow murmured near my ear, his gaze on our joined hands. “And I feel the beat of our true mate bond in my chest. Stronger than ever.” The sort of warmth that could only be described as near orgasmic flooded my body, and I sighed, wishing I could just wrap myself around him, kiss those decadent lips, and never come up for air.
My heart stopped before I could finish. My time was done.
Then Mera Callahan had appeared, busting into my damn life, and touching the deepest recesses of my dark soul. She was an incessant ray of light, never ceasing, never giving up space in my head, and every single time she upset the balance, I wanted to fucking kill her. To save the heartache I knew she would bring to my world.
The mate to my soul. The fire to my fire. My Sunshine.
As I emerged from the Nexus, miles below The Depths that surrounded it, I found that once again, I was changed. Reborn. Into my true self this time, a being built and layered from the multiple lives I’d already lived.
I knew myself, maybe better than I ever had, recognizing my new perfect mesh of wolf, phoenix, and shifter. The Nexus had taken the best and strongest from each, weaving them together to create my true form. Flames surrounded me, despite how deep I was in the water, lighting up the endless darkness. Not just the darkness, but the many, many creatures that encircled me.
The sea creatures swirled protectively around me, and I wondered how I could have ever feared them. They were just like the abervoqs and other land creatures—misunderstood. Yes, some of them were ferocious and killers, but that was survival. Once their natural food sources—and the health of the realm—returned, they would be no threat to any who weren’t a threat to them. You couldn’t punish them for surviving.
Flames coated me head to toe, as stunning fire wings extended behind, looking very much like Dannie’s phoenix ones. The rest of me was wolfish, though, reiterating my feeling that I hadn’t lost my beast, not exactly. I was her and she was me, and we were a fire beast who looked like a mix of Shadow’s Anubis form and Dannie’s original phoenix. Minus the beak. For a brief moment, I wondered if I was going to look like this forever, a creature of darkness and light who was cool and scary, but not the version of myself I was most familiar with.
“I love you, Mera Callahan,” he said without hesitation, that smile softening as he gave me another piece of himself. “I love you too,” I choked out. “For what it’s worth, considering how you feel about that overused word.” Now he chuckled, finally releasing me. “I’ve decided that it’s not the word, Sunshine, it’s the depth of emotion behind it. When we use the word ‘love,’ it becomes ours. We will claim it.” I had to laugh. “Arrogant Beast.” He wasn’t wrong, though. Love was ours to claim.
They called us “Nexus gods” and offered up every sacrifice one could think of in worship.
Like a mother with her children, I offered them love and comfort and the promise that while I was alive, I would do everything in my power to protect them. My creatures had not had that for a very long time. Dannie had lost her way years before I’d been born—probably around the time she’d broken the rules and fallen in love with a royal.
I love you, I told her because there was no time left. Our bond, that fluttering feeling of home and family in my chest, was nearly gone. I love you, treasora, Angel whispered until her voice faded out. Death had stolen the last of her, leaving the rest of us to mourn in its wake.
“How is it that you don’t need to stay here in the Nexus?” Lucien asked me. “Your rebirth created you into another Nexus goddess, right? Are you bound to it now?” “No,” I said, knowing the truth of it. “I still belong to multiple worlds. It’s what makes me different to Dannie and allows me to exist in multiple places. I may need to return here at times to keep it all in check, but this is not my only home.” Earth, Honor Meadows, the Library of Knowledge. All equally as important as this land we stood on now. “There is no other like Mera,” Shadow said, his eyes locked on mine. “And there never
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She smiled her beautiful smile, and I took a moment to examine her. Her eyes were the same, only slightly more fire-touched. Her hair too, which was now heavily streaked with red and gold. And the wings—the largest change of all—were still angelic in shape, with some fire and phoenix in there as well. Those wings wrapped around us, hiding her naked form. “I was reborn,” she trilled in the musical voice I’d never expected to hear again. “Honor Meadows have their own afterlife, but I never went there. I went to yours because of our bond.”
“Torin’s rejection is what set this all in motion, giving me the best fucking life, while he’s still a sad sack of dog balls.”
“Here’s to the beginning of our new life,” I said, clinking my respectable water with his glass of swill. “Thanks for kidnapping my ass. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. And you, of course, because… Shadowshine.” He leaned over, and I felt his breath brush across my cheek, sending shivers down my skin. “You belong to me, Sunshine. Now and forever.” As his lips met mine, all I could think was: Where’s the lie? Shadowshine.
