There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job

by Kikuko Tsumura

I guessed that at heart she was kind, but when she sensed a potential obstacle in her way, she became brusque. Which, when I really thought about it, just made her a normal member of the human race.

during my final two hours of work, my sense of anticipation towards those sausages had reached crazy heights, so when the shop assistant informed me that the special offer had ended and all the sausages were sold out, I’d fallen into a state of mild shock. ‘I got three whole kilos of them,’ some woman saw fit to butt in and tell me. ‘They won’t all fit in my fridge,’ she added before turning her back on us, chortling merrily as she walked away. I understood in that moment how murderers feel. I also felt very strongly that I didn’t want to go to work the following day. I wanted to laze around at home, wallowing in self-pity. Or ram that woman hard with a shopping trolley and run out of the shop.

I wanted to return to that period when all I needed to do was work, and the time would pass of its own accord.

Don’t confuse ‘haven’ with ‘heaven’!

After having to leave my old job because of burnout syndrome, I was rationally aware that it wasn’t a good idea to get too emotionally involved in what I was doing, but it was also difficult to prevent myself from taking satisfaction in it. Truthfully, I was happy when people took pleasure in my work, and it made me want to try harder.

‘Which is more important, I wonder – not to be lonely, or to live the life you’ve chosen for yourself?’

‘You do know there’s no need for you to be making this much of an effort?’ ‘It’s my job,’ I answered offhandedly. ‘Yes, and that’s exactly why I’m saying it,’ Mr Monaga said

Nobody’s life was untouched by loneliness; it was just a question of whether or not you were able to accept that loneliness for what it was. Put another way, everyone was lonely, and it was up to them whether they chose to bury that loneliness through relationships with other people, and if so, of what sort of intensity and depth.

I was aware that what I was doing was ridiculous, but I overrode that awareness with another thought: Take this, you fuckers!

I felt that a hole had opened up in my heart. If being busy would prevent me from having to look at that hole, I could probably handle any kind of job.

Nodding along as the man told me that he’d figured he’d probably need his wife when he got old, I had thought back fondly to the days when I’d sat in my hut, quietly perforating tickets.