I thought I would become more than I am, but instead I know I am less than I thought.
The full meaning of this line can’t be unpacked without certain spoilers (after you finish the book, read this first section again and see if it sits differently with you), but I will say that when Marian sets out on her flight, she is hoping for a new vantage on the world, for a sense of profound accomplishment and satisfaction, and for a new peace with herself. She gets fragments and flashes of these things and experiences transcendent, sublime beauty, but she also has to contend with excruciating sacrifices and decisions. Was the flight worth it? In this moment, she has no way of answering that question. Perhaps it can’t be answered.
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