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Fear for Marisa clogged my throat and made it hard to focus. I needed to get to her. I needed to see her. I needed her to be okay.
Sliding into the bed, I curled my body around hers, wrapping my arm around her. Just for tonight. Just because of how close I’d come to losing her. Just because I couldn’t help myself.
Tonight, I’d hold her in my arms. Tomorrow, I’d figure out how to deal with being in love with the coach’s daughter.
He hated the attention. It made him want to go full turtle and crawl inside his shell. I loved it. I loved watching him get the attention he deserved after the amount of work he put in on the field. I loved how he got so nervous in front of everyone, even though when we walked back with our ice cream, he’d remember every question they’d asked and how great it felt to sign an autograph or two.
He felt like he didn’t belong in the limelight, but he did. He was the best person I knew. Too bad he didn’t feel even half of what I felt for him.
Not after I recreated the senior trip for her after she’d saved my dad’s life and she had made it categorically known that she wasn’t into me that way.
“I love her.” He squeezed the back of his neck, shaking his head. “Will you still love her in a year? In two years?” “I’ve loved her since we were fifteen. It’s never going away.”
Sometimes it felt like I could disappear and no one would really care. It felt like I was a temporary fixture in someone’s life until they moved on. But with LJ I felt like I mattered—always.
“I can’t believe you did this for me.” He peered over at me and my stomach flipped like there was a wacky-waving-inflatable-arm-flailing tube man going bonkers inside. “When are you going to get it? I’d do anything for you.”
Asking either of us to give up our dreams would lead to anger and resentment. It was better to hold onto what we had and let it go when the time came rather than clinging to it and destroying each other.
You can’t be disappointed if you don’t have expectations.”
“I love you, Marisa.” This wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but this time it felt different. It felt heart-stoppingly, soul-scorchingly different.
Just because two people made a kid doesn’t mean they’re true parents and it doesn’t mean they deserve all the chances in the world.”
I couldn’t make us work if she didn’t believe in us—in me. I couldn’t make her stop running. I couldn’t make her love me like I loved her.
