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Fear for Marisa clogged my throat and made it hard to focus. I needed to get to her. I needed to see her. I needed her to be okay.
Sliding into the bed, I curled my body around hers, wrapping my arm around her. Just for tonight. Just because of how close I’d come to losing her. Just because I couldn’t help myself.
Tonight, I’d hold her in my arms. Tomorrow, I’d figure out how to deal with being in love with the coach’s daughter.
“I love her.” He squeezed the back of his neck, shaking his head. “Will you still love her in a year? In two years?” “I’ve loved her since we were fifteen. It’s never going away.”
Sometimes it felt like I could disappear and no one would really care. It felt like I was a temporary fixture in someone’s life until they moved on. But with LJ I felt like I mattered—always.
“I can’t believe you did this for me.” He peered over at me and my stomach flipped like there was a wacky-waving-inflatable-arm-flailing tube man going bonkers inside. “When are you going to get it? I’d do anything for you.”
These easy, fun moments made it hard to imagine my life without her.
He could slice me in two with a word without even realizing it. Our senior trip kiss and the day at the door with my dad. Completely oblivious, he’d reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and dumped it straight into my hands.
“I love you, Marisa.” This wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but this time it felt different. It felt heart-stoppingly, soul-scorchingly different.
Every taste was always too short and left me starving for more. She stole my restraint and my breath away. It was like she smashed a window, snuck in, and snatched it from my lungs.
“But most of all, I worry I’ve destroyed the one relationship that means the most to me in the world. More than anything, I want to be with you in whatever form that takes.
“I love you, LJ. With everything I have, I love you, and even though I’m scared out of my mind, I want to be with you.”
Not when I’m completely, irrevocably in love with you. You can’t rewrite fourteen years of history in a couple weeks.”
