“Yeah, because Cal is competitive, see? He can’t ever bear to lose. So I’ll just dare him to go gay for me and he won’t be able to back down on the dare because he’d have to admit defeat by doing so. Then he’ll go full gay and we’ll get gayer and gayer together until one day we’re married and it’s ten years down the line and he’s still so committed to the dare with our fourteen children who often ask why Daddy C always goes to those strip bars at the weekends with the booby ladies and-”

