Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind

by Judson Brewer MD PhD

Remember, the way to build good habits of being mindful is short moments, many times throughout the day.

You learn the difference between external rewards (needing to get something to feel better) and internal rewards (feeling the relief that comes with being curious and kind).

One of the most important elements of learning a new skill is trusting yourself, having the faith that you can do it.

And smoking is the hardest chemical addiction to quit—yes, harder than cocaine, alcohol, or heroin.

Here is my pain-relieving formula for procrastination: interest + knowledge + experience = enjoyment in writing + good product = flow.

I figured that to give me the best shot at writing a book while in flow, I needed not to be hungry, or to have things like the New York Times website easily available.

A critical aspect of “one day at a time”—indeed, perhaps all of its power—lies in not looking too far into the future. Remember, our brains hate uncertainty. The further something is in the future, the more that can happen between now and then.

It is true that past behavior is likely the best predictor of future behavior (hence habit formation), but what we do in the present moment, not what we did in the past, will determine the likelihood of continuing or changing that trajectory.

As the musician Randy Armstrong put it, “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”

every time we go on social media or news sites that algorithmically use our click preferences to selectively show us items in our feed, we’re unknowingly casting our vote for tailored and computer-curated content, which becomes familiar and thus reinforces our preferences for future clicks.

A simple example of this is how feedback on social media is binary and quantitative (number of likes and retweets) as compared to the complex ambiguity of reading body language and interpreting tone of voice during an in-person conversation.

No wonder we see teenagers sitting right next to each other yet communicating through their phones—uncertainty is scary.

In other words, as much as self-righteous anger may feel empowering in the moment, being kind feels better and more empowering than being mean,