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January 12 - January 31, 2022
I realized that one of the reasons so many people fail to see that they have anxiety is the way it hides in bad habits.
I could give them a way to handle and work with their emotions that wasn’t simply prescribing them a pill.
anxiety hides in people’s habits. It hides in their bodies as they learn to disconnect from these feelings through myriad different behaviors.
To hack our brains and break the anxiety cycle, we must become aware of two things: that we are getting anxious and/or panicking and what results from anxiety/panicking.
“continued use despite adverse consequences.”
Many people struggle with anxiety and drink alcohol to alleviate those feelings. How many of us were first introduced to drinking alcohol at high school parties and quickly learned that drinking made us feel less self-conscious and more at ease?
the more they try to clear their mind of anxious thoughts or think their way out of anxiety, the more anxious they become.
Avoid: You tend to be clear-thinking and discerning. Your intellect allows you to see things logically and identify flaws in things. You are quick to understand concepts and tend to keep things organized and tidy while getting things done quickly. You pay attention to detail. You might even have a stiff posture (that is to say, you walk stiffly and hurriedly). At times you might notice that you are overly judgmental and critical. You may come across as a perfectionist.
If you really pay careful and close attention—without making any assumptions or relying on past experience to guide you—and you see that a behavior is not rewarding right now, I promise you that you will start to get less excited about doing it again.
“If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, seek new strategies, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.”
awareness to the results of your behaviors as a way to facilitate habit change
“review and regret”
Curiosity trumps anxiety!
about to get caught up in a habit loop like interrupting others or getting defensive about feedback, you can duck under the cover of normalcy and take a moment to pay attention to your own breathing as a way to step out of feeding that beast of a habit.
RECOGNIZE/RELAX into what is arising (e.g., your craving). ACCEPT/ALLOW it to be there. INVESTIGATE bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts. NOTE what is happening from moment to moment.
It’s helpful if my patients do a bit of homework between visits.
Do it for short periods, many times throughout the day.
try to be mindful and curious throughout the day? See if you can be mindful while you wait for your coffee to brew,
With certainty comes a reduction in anxiety, because you don’t have to worry about that “uncertain outcome” baked right into the definition of anxiety. My patients can take a deep breath and plan for today—hence taking it one day at a time.
