Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind

by Judson Brewer MD PhD

Only in a growth mindset are you open to learning.

Ask yourself, What do I get from this? (second gear), and see if you can identify exactly when the scale starts tipping from delicious to neutral to unpleasant. Does this help you stop at that tipping point (or at least slow down)?

Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become actions. Watch your actions. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Watch your character. It becomes your destiny.

Trigger: Start to struggle Behavior: Think it will suck (fixed mindset) Result: Increased likelihood of its sucking

Trigger: Start to feel frustrated Behavior: Notice the habitual reaction and ask, “What do I get from this?” Result: See how unrewarding the old habit is; get disenchanted with feeding the frustration (second gear)

Thinking trips us up when we get caught up in worry or self-judgmental habit loops (that is to say, shoulding—I should do this, I shouldn’t do that). Those types of thoughts, especially the ones that have strong opinions, are the ones to be on the lookout for, as they just make us feel bad about ourselves.

Trigger: Make a “mistake.” Behavior: Judge or beat ourselves up (i.e., pick the scab off the wound). Result: Old wound is now fresh and bleeding again.

Trigger: Remember lunchroom brain fart. Behavior: Notice clenching in my stomach and self-judgment start to play in my head. Give myself a mental hug and remind myself that I can’t change what I did and that I have learned from it. Result: Healed wound.

Knowing that a habit is bad for us isn’t enough to change it.

CBT focuses largely on developing the abilities of the rider to face down stressors.

Broad definition: Anything that helps you step out of your old habit loop. Specific, sustainable definition: an internally based BBO that helps you step out of your old habit loop.

have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. —ALBERT EINSTEIN

As Einstein put it, “Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”

your breath is actually a great third-gear BBO: Your breath is always available. Paying attention to your breath helps you step out of your old habit loop. Breathing doesn’t feed the habit loop process itself.

RECOGNIZE/RELAX into what is arising (e.g., your craving). ACCEPT/ALLOW it to be there. INVESTIGATE bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts. NOTE what is happening from moment to moment.

Here’s the basic RAIN practice: First, RECOGNIZE that the stress is coming on and RELAX into it. Don’t grit your teeth and brace for impact! Just let go and feel it come on, since you have no control over it anyway. It’s even okay if you smile a little. Really. ALLOW and ACCEPT this wave as it is. Don’t try to push it away or ignore it. Don’t distract yourself or try to do something about it. This is your experience. Here it comes. To catch the wave of anxiety, you have to study it carefully, INVESTIGATING it as it builds. Be curious. Do this by asking, “What is going on in my body right now?” Don’t go looking for it. See what arises in your awareness most prominently. Let it come to you. Get curious. Where does the feeling originate in your body? What does it really feel like? Is it tightness in your chest? Is it a burning feeling in your belly? Is it a restlessness that urges you to do something—like run away? Finally, NOTE the experience. This keeps you here now, curious and focused, riding the wave. Keep it simple by using short phrases or single words. This helps you stay out of thinking or figuring-out mode, and instead will keep you in the direct experience of what is happening to you. For example, you might note clenching, rising, burning, heat, restlessness as the feelings come on and peak, and then vibration, tightness, tingling, lessening, relaxing, relief, and expanding as they subside. If thoughts arise, simply note “thinking” and don’t get caught up in analys...

RAIN Recognize what is happening right now. Allow/Accept it: Don’t push it away or try to change it. Investigate body sensations, emotions, thoughts: Ask, “Hmm, what is going on in my body right now?” Note what is happening in your experience.