I Thought You Said This Would Work

by Ann Garvin

“In Wisconsin we cuss you out quietly and then send a casserole in apology,”

“We’re odd, we humans,” she would say. “We know people die, but we act astonished when it happens. What is astonishing about death is our certainty that it isn’t going to happen to us or anyone we know without some kind of warning. And, we live our life doing stupid things like gossiping, when we should spend all our days planting flowers.”

This was the cell phone generation. They felt a feeling. Offloaded it by texting their support person, usually a mother filled with guilt about not breastfeeding long enough or putting their child in day care so they could survive. The mother absorbed the anxiety and responded to the SOS text after the sender had already wandered off, unburdened.

As I said, thanks is one. Also try, We’re different; Good to know; Hmmmm, I’ll think about that; and if they say something offensive, just say, Go Badgers and don’t follow up with anything.” “Go Badgers?” “Look, an inappropriately aggressive or intentionally wacky question or statement deserves an equally wacky response.”