Carl's Doomsday Scenario (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #2)

by Matt Dinniman

“Well, congratulations, crawler. You

are now Princess Donut the Level 13 Former Child Actor Cat. Welcome to the third fucking floor.”

Mongo soon started to snore. I could feel Donut’s warmth against the back of my neck. She breathed softly, oblivious of all that had occurred tonight. This, I thought, this is my family.

“What kind

of nightclub doesn’t let your children in?” Donut grumbled, oblivious to my sudden reverie.

New Achievement! Yellow-Bellied Chickenshit! You initiated a boss battle, and it somehow ended with neither of you dead. What a disappointment you are. What a goddamned smear. Reward: Pussies don’t get prizes.

“Cats don’t drink cocktails,” I said. “Cats don’t shoot lasers from their eyes, either, but here we are, Carl. Mama needs a night off.”