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I imagine Lord Straik floating through his room of vases, his skirts above his head because his ship lost gravity, and fight back a snicker.
"Buuuurrrrn," I whisper, using one of Zoey's favorite human sayings. "Super burn, brother." "Shut up, Adiron," Mathiras fires back.
"And the only one that supports life is an ice planet with poison air.
"Five minutes, ladies. Change clothes, fluff your tits, and get ready to wow some aliens."
He licks his finger and shoves it in my ear. With an outraged sound, I stumble away, glaring at him. "You monster." "You left yourself open for it," he says with a shrug. Damn it. I totally did.
I smell dust and the air is sour and musty, but nothing else. "I don't smell anything but your socks," I joke. "The air smells, but it's not as bad as it should be," Kaspar points out. "I thought it'd smell like your sac when we came in here, but nothing smells that bad."
Hate to say it, but I'm kinda enjoying the stunned look on his face as the human just snuggles closer to him.
Kaspar asks, still stroking the human's silky yellow hair. I've never seen him look so instantly protective. Uh oh. That's not a good sign.
"Your men sound like dicks," I mock-whisper to Straik.
Standing next to it is another human, and as she turns, my tongue glues itself to the roof of my mouth. This new human is more like it.
"I'm your friend," I volunteer, grinning. She gazes at me as if seeing me for the first time, and her full lips curve in a little smile. "I'm Jade." And I'm smitten.
Shirtless is just watching me through that window. And grinning. Like he's proud.
Jade. I test her name on my tongue, repeating it over and over so I won't forget it. Jade. It's an interesting sound for an interesting female.
I mean, I might wake up in chains, but it wouldn't be the first time and it probably won't be the last.
She's also sticking her tongue out and making faces at us from underneath the safety of her pod's glass.
Maybe my cock only stands up for females that betray me. Heh. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if that was the truth.
Then I sober, because I think Zoey might like Jade. That's important to me, because I plan on keeping Jade. Not as a slave, of course. As my female. My mate. Jade doesn't know it yet, but she's stuck with the dumbest keffer in this system…which doesn't say much, because this system is pretty deserted.
"I just want you all to know that I bite," Ruth snarls as the aliens glare at us. "I will absolutely tear a chunk off of any appendage that comes into range."
His gaze is locked on a defiant Alice, and he's glaring at her like she's betrayed him.
Adiron—the spanking enthusiast—takes
I just blink at him. He's really pretty. Real pretty. Those eyes are playful and kind, both. And he fed me. I like a man that knows to feed a woman, even if he is the enemy.
"You look funny." "You mean sexy," he corrects. "I look sexy. In fact, it blows your mind how sexy I am." I snort. "I'm not that drunk."
I'm sure you're very handsome for a battle-smurf."
"I have no news. The black-haired one screamed and kicked the entire time. I did learn a few new curse words, but nothing of use. She wouldn't tell me anything."
"Tell me when you're decent." "I'm never decent," he jokes.
"So…we're like sisters to you? Us humans?" Adiron leans against the wall, giving me a heavy-lidded look. "Oh, make no mistake, Jade. I'm sure your friends are nice and all, but as for you? I am not interested in you in a brotherly way. At all." His smile is slow and confident. "But I'm pretty sure you guessed that already."
"How do I put that cat back in the bag? Also, what's a cat?"
"It's like being on the Good Ship Attention Deficit," Ruth adds sullenly.
"Mathiras didn't sex me, no," she says cheerily. "I asked him to tongue kiss me, but he declined. But if I feel a sexual urge, I'll probably ask him to service me." Now Mathiras is the one making strangled noises.
We're like family. You're…" "If you say ‘family,’ I'm going to be very sad." "…like a really pesky neighbor." "I'll take that. You can get romantic with a neighbor." And he winks at me.
"Is what a trick?" I gesture at him, standing in the middle of my room. "You acting like you're half in love with me after we just met." Adiron beams at me. "Glad you noticed. And I'm not acting."
"Liar. I saw your quarters. You're a pig." "That's an earth animal, right? Are they handsome?" Jade gives another teary laugh, sniffing. "Oh, the handsomest."
So I tug at my ankle, indicating he should free me. "If that hand goes any higher, I'm going to kick you in the face." "Might be worth it," he teases, but he lets me go.
As if he knows what I'm thinking, he grabs his junk. "Looks good in this, right? I figure I have one chance to impress you, so I might as well go all out. And you DID say to wear something sexy."
The trick is to keep her laughing. If she's having a good time, she won't be disappointed in what an idiot I am.
I wonder if it'd be too forward of me to ask her to sit on my plate and be my dinner? Probably.
And bad shit happens to everyone. I just prefer to live my life with pleasure instead of dealing with the pain. I can let the bad things swamp me or I can learn from my mistakes."
and her bedding is entirely in black. Oh man. Keffing Straik is gonna shit when he realizes he's stuck with the human female version of himself.
Perhaps this is the universe's way of apologizing to me for all the bad shit that's happened. I imagine some celestial deity pushing Adiron my way. Here, it says. Have this. It'll make you happy.
I figured out the cure for insomnia." He looks up at me and winks. "It's between your thighs."
"You made food for me?"
He grins at me. "You have a better idea?" I pretend to consider. "No," I say after a moment, and hold him closer. "I really, really don't. Noodles and sex sounds pretty good to me."
I'm pretty sure I've broken my hand. I'm also pretty sure she's going to kill me now. Worth it.
Luck's great and all, but a lot of the time, it's less about luck and more about leaving yourself open to whatever falls into your lap. And when luck fails you, you make your own keffing luck.
I've got Bethiah on my side, and I almost feel bad for Shaalyn. Almost.
My sister's voice comes in, strong and proud. "As opposed to, what, a polite and friendly takeover? Better hold on, because you're not gonna like what else we do, either, bitch."
"Put me down. I'm not a baby." "Are you sure? You're just the littlest runt," I say, using my baby voice. "Who's a widdle bitty human? You are! Yes you are!" Zoey scowls. In the next moment, she licks her finger and shoves it in my ear.
"Stasis on an empty belly can be hard. She'll perk up once she has something in her." The woman who must be Zoey groans. "Must. Resist. So. Many. Filthy. Puns."
it's little more than a pale purple sac with sleeves, but it's got ruffles all over the hem and great big puffs on the arms…and I realize Kivian's dressed almost exactly like his daughter.
My female has a heart as soft and ample as her bottom, and I love that about her.