Love People, Use Things: Because the Opposite Never Works

by Joshua Fields Millburn

“Toxic people defy logic,” according to Emotional Intelligence 2.0 coauthor Travis Bradberry. “Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress.” Like Marta Ortiz, we’ve all held on to a relationship that didn’t deserve to be in our lives, and most of us are still involved with people who continually drain us: People who don’t add value. People who aren’t supportive. People who take and take and take without giving back. People who contribute little and prevent us from growing. People who constantly play the victim. In time, people who play victim become victimizers. That’s when the relationship grows dangerous. Victimizers keep us from feeling fulfilled and from living purpose-driven lives. And, over time, these toxic relationships become part of our identity.