Single On Purpose: Prioritizing Self-Love and Personal Growth in Your Journey Through Life, Dating, and Relationships

by John Kim

We continue to drift further from ourselves, and the more we disconnect from ourselves, the more we crave connecting with someone else.

Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself.

But simply put, I was building a relationship with me. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t running.

Step 1 is to become aware of this. Notice your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just practice noticing them. Also, notice the feeling in your body when you have those thoughts. Notice. Notice. Notice. Watch your thoughts as if they were drifting in a snow globe.

Break this pattern by questioning your thoughts. Is there truth in them or are they tainted? Put your thoughts on trial. Know that thoughts are not facts. They’re just thoughts. They will come and go. Don’t get attached to them and allow them to get so heavy and negative that they drown you.

After you do these three steps—becoming aware of your thoughts, questioning your thoughts, and finding the patterns in your thoughts—you’ll be able to pull back and see what’s going on. You’ll no longer believe that bad things happen because you’re unlucky or defective. You’ll understand that this thought is distorted and a reaction to false beliefs about yourself.

Feeding your soul is the action part of building a better relationship with yourself. Giving yourself what you need. Because that’s where your truth lives. In your soul. Not in your mind.

your partner can be your best friend. But he or she cannot be your only friend.