Single On Purpose: Prioritizing Self-Love and Personal Growth in Your Journey Through Life, Dating, and Relationships

by John Kim

A thriving relationship is one in which two whole people come together and do life with each other, not at or around each other.

Asking myself Where am I going? before asking myself Who is going with me?

we’ll always only be 50 percent of any relationship. So even if we could be perfect, that would be only half and half is not enough.

until you resolve it, the disconnect with who you really are is going to haunt you. No perfect partner can replace that.

You have to deal with it at some point.

Doing things for the outcome rather than for the

How is your relationship with yourself these days? Forget about loving yourself. Do you even like yourself? If not, why? What happened? Is there something you need to let go of or accept? Do you need to forgive yourself for something? Do you need to cut the bond keeping what you

First, ask yourself how you treat and speak to the people you love.

How are you treating yourself (action)? And how are you talking to yourself (words)? Are you bashing yourself?

All those ways in which you’re not supporting and speaking to yourself are the ways you should support and speak to the people you love. That’s what you need to work on.

notice how they feel in their body every minute of the day? But if you don’t make an effort to do just that, you will always be disconnected from your body.

You establish a healthier relationship with your body by accepting it, dropping into it, and moving with it. Not once, but as a lifestyle.

becoming aware of your thoughts, questioning your thoughts, and finding the patterns in your thoughts—you’ll

Feeding your soul is the action part of building a better relationship with yourself.

You connect to yourself by having a better relationship with your soul.

Friends are crucial to our growth, journey, and happiness.

No one has perfect friends. As in any relationship, there is no such thing as a perfect friendship.

Just because you have a history doesn’t mean

relationships encourage us to connect with ourselves. Unhealthy relationships prevent us from connecting with ourselves.

and so it begins: Ordering in. Binge-watching. Losing friends as you lose yourself in your person. And eventually, emotional claustrophobia as you naturally

You have to grow individually if you want to grow as a couple. If

learn about codependency, attachment styles, and healthy boundaries, or about why we behave the way we do in love.

Single is a choice to take your love lessons and grow.

They only know themselves through a relationship. And if those relationships have been unhealthy, their relationship with themselves has been unhealthy too.

People build authentic relationships with their bodies when they fall in love with the movement so much that it becomes a lifestyle. Yoga. Running.

but you can’t truly feel a core-deep sexy that moves from the inside outward. That comes from liking yourself.

You must feed your sexual need daily or you will feel incomplete. Invisible. Not feeding it will directly impact whoever you choose to love. You will minimize, compromise, refuse to believe you deserve better.

Just as we’re responsible for our own happiness in our relationship, we are also responsible for how we look and feel about ourselves. That is not your partner’s responsibility. Many of us fall into that trap. We think that because we are now in a relationship, our work on ourselves can stop or slow down. Why does this create drift and disconnect? Because it’s not just how you look and feel that becomes unattractive, but the fact that you don’t care about how you look and feel.

The more confident and connected you feel to yourself now, the more you will be bringing to the table in your next relationship and the less pressure you will put on your partner and the relationship to make you feel better about yourself.

“When we seek closure, we are looking for answers as to the cause of a certain loss in order to resolve the painful feelings it has created.”

“Closure” requires nothing from the other person involved.

You have no control over the other person and their experience of you or what happened.

When you do things that truly matter to you, that line up with your truth and your story, you not only live closer to your potential but you become lighter, and lighter turns into happier.

Because not doing anything is not engagement.

They are just thoughts, produced by judgment and distortion. That’s why you must create distance from them. Imagine your thoughts in a snow globe. Watch them there. Don’t own them.