Bridget's Bane (Icehome, #12)

by Ruby Dixon

mouth. He stares at me, dumbfounded. "You licked me, B'shit." "Bridget," I correct, pushing down the flash of annoyance I feel at the name.

On this planet, though, I'm exciting and alluring, and I fully admit it's flattering. I totally lean into it, too. I'm a little flirtier here, a little bolder. I play the kissing games with confidence, and I tease the men as much as any other girl does.

And that's A'tam in a nutshell—a mixture of enthusiasm and sultriness that draws me in.

My furtive attempts at pottery-making have been going dreadfully, but I'm not surprised. Everything else seems to be a damned mess, so why not this, too?

But just once…I wish things would go my way. Just freaking once.

"Why are you playing with dirt in the middle of the night?" "It's not dirt. It's clay." I add a sprinkle of dried clay dust to my too-wet lump and start to work it again. "I want to try to make some pottery."

Everyone's finding their niche…except me.

And then he showed up with Goliath in his pants and dicked my dreams away.

Like B'shit and her pottery, I will keep our friendship secret. It is as fragile as the pottery itself, and I will do nothing to wreck it.

hate how it always comes back to me being the issue. Some things never change, and the thought is depressing.

but I did not think how it would feel to her. I know B'shit has struggled with being accepted, that sometimes the females keep things from her because she has a reputation for sharing secrets.

I think. "And then I tell her she is my…mate?" D'see sighs. "You ask, A'tam. You ask her." "I ask her to be my mate," I say confidently. "You ask her why she turns you away," D'see clarifies.

“Do you need help” is such a triggering phrase for me. In my experience, asking for help just ends up backfiring and shooting me in the face.

Did she give up and return to camp? No, I realize. B'shit does not give up on anything. She is tenacious, like a young kaari.

realize in that moment that she is injured…and that D'see would be very mad at me for how I am handling this. Did she not give me very clear instructions for how I am to talk to B'shit for when I saw her again? I am to compliment her and ask for things, to tell her I want to word her. Instead, I have made her cry.

"Your braids are attractive. And your figure is very nice, even if you do not have a tail." I think for a moment and add, "And I like your teats." She stares up at me, bewildered.

I chuckle and turn back to my work. "It was not meant to. I just…sometimes I am tired of getting burned." "Me too," B'shit says in a small voice.

This…makes a strange amount of sense. "You think I should pull on her braids to get her attention?" "That is absolutely not what I said." She raises a hand, shaking her head.

point that I can't get over it. I'd rather have my wisdom teeth extracted by an ice planet dentist than go through that again. Maybe it's just awful with me because of my small size downtown.

There's a lot of laughter on the beach, but I actually feel bad for them. I know what it's like to be pushed into something out of your element and have to take the chuckles of others with grace. I know these two don't like each other. but they both want to win the knife and so they're trying hard to get along.

"Yeah," Raven says. "You need therapy. Couples therapy."

For so long, I have blamed B'shit for not knowing what she wants. In truth, I am just as much to blame as she is. I have been just as stubborn. I have been just as selfish. It is a strange thing to realize, and I take to the edge of the water, needing space away from the others.

Have I never made her come before? I thought she enjoyed my touch. We have kissed and pleasured many times. And I claimed her in the furs, once, but I do not recall her body quaking around mine.

There is a breeze in my hut, I realize. A breeze in my hut, and some of the spaces between the floor boards are so wide my tail threatens to fall through. My hut is…haphazard. I did not take my time to work on it as I should have.

I wonder if my impatience has stolen everything from me, or if it is not too late. I suppose I will find out in the morning. I am not looking forward to it.

"I mean…it wasn't…good."

He grunts. "We both have things to learn, it seems."

"Right, right. You couldn't, I don't know, think of me more like a flower or something?" A'tam laughs, delighted at my comment. "Flowers are weak, fragile things. You are far too clever and strong to be a flower."

"I'm just tired of failing all the time."

Pottery, I decide. I will think about pottery and how frustratingly awful it is.