The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

by Ross W. Greene

Plan B consists of three steps, each containing ingredients that are crucial to the collaborative resolution of problems: the Empathy step, the Define Adult Concerns step, and the Invitation step. The Empathy step involves gathering information from your child to understand what’s making it hard for her to meet a particular expectation. The Define Adult Concerns step involves communicating your concern or perspective on the same problem, especially why it’s important that the expectation be met. The Invitation step is when you and your child work toward a solution that is (a) realistic (meaning both parties can actually do what they’re agreeing to do) and (b) mutually satisfactory (meaning the solution addresses the concerns of both parties).