The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

by Ross W. Greene

Plan B consists of three steps or ingredients: The Empathy Step: Gathering information about and understanding what’s making it hard for your child to meet a given expectation. The Define Adult Concerns Step: Being specific about why it’s important that the expectation be met (how the problem is affecting the kid and/or others). The Invitation Step: Collaborating with your child to find a solution that is realistic and mutually satisfactory. There are two forms of Plan B, depending on timing: Emergency Plan B and Proactive Plan B. Because Proactive Plan B is far preferable, it’s been the primary focus of this chapter. Emergency Plan B—because of added heat and time pressure—is much harder and much less likely to lead to durable solutions.