But aren’t some concerning behaviors more severe than others? Yes, no doubt. Some kids—the lucky ones—cry, pout, sulk, whine, or withdraw when they’re struggling with problems and frustrations. They’re lucky because caregivers tend to respond to these less severe behaviors in ways that are more supportive, empathic, and nurturing. Other kids—the unlucky ones—scream, swear, hit, kick, bite, spit, destroy property, or worse. These behaviors are definitely more severe, and we adults tend to respond to them in ways that are far less empathic and far harsher and more punitive. But whether a child’s
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