The Darkest Temptation (Made, #3)

by Danielle Lori

If I could long for the devil, it meant I had some darkness in me too.

With a shallow breath, I forced, “Just yours.” “Just mine.” The words froze to ice, and his eyes finally lifted to mine, an immoral matte black. “Your misery, your attention, your body—all mine.” The caustic words settled on my skin, slowing each inhale. “I’m beginning to think I need to prove it to you.”

We only inhaled each other’s exhales for a second. A heaviness invaded my chest, pulling me into dark waters alongside him, where I’d sink, and he’d swim. My only question was: Would he grab my hand, or let me drown? I wasn’t sure I cared anymore.

I exhaled when he slid a thumb across my cheek, and a satisfied, villainous look so akin to him touched his lips. “Don’t worry, kotyonok . . .” He leaned in and nuzzled my neck, his warm breath raising goose bumps on my skin. “Ya vyyebu vsyu lozh iz tebya.” The statement sounded like a threat, but there wasn’t time to ponder it.

Ronan dropped my other leg, gripped my face, and forced my gaze to meet his. “Eto moye.” This is mine. He punctuated the harsh words by scissoring his fingers inside of me.

“Ty dash’ mne trakhnut tebya?” I didn’t know what he said, but I wasn’t sure I’d comprehend the words even if he spoke them in English. I could only close my eyes and chase friction until he pressed his lips to my ear and demanded, “Otvet’ mne.” Answer me. The words were soft and coarse but a command nonetheless.

He watched the tear’s descent like it was acid, then pulled his palm away and braced both of them on the couch beside my head. “Fuck,” he growled before closing his eyes and exhaling. “Please tell me you’re just a really tight and emotional fuck, Mila.” Clearly, I just gave my virginity to the most charming man in Europe.

“Fuck.” Ronan pushed away from me like I was on fire, releasing an angry, tortured growl as if I was the villain in the room who just stole his innocence. He left me lying there naked, a shaky coldness in my veins and an emptiness swelling between my legs. Confusion ran rampant as I felt him walk to the other side of the room. “I don’t fuck virgins, kotyonok.” It was an icy, uncompromising statement. I flinched as if he’d slapped me. The words were a blow considering he just took something I couldn’t give to anyone else and then threw it away like it inconvenienced him. My heart clenched. I hadn’t felt so vulnerable in my entire life. A hot and heavy mass invaded my throat.

Getting to my feet, a resentful scoff rose in my throat. “Yes. I can feel your good intentions. They’re a warm ray of sunshine.” He released a dark, bitter breath and turned to face me, his eyes fierce. “I promise, your entire body would feel them like the weight of the fucking sun if I stayed inside of you even a second longer.”

I stared at the wall as Ronan dropped to his haunches in front of me. My throat grew tight when he wiped a tear from my cheek. I was tempted to push his hand away, but the heat of the caress overwhelmed me, tugging at the twine around my heart. “Stop crying,” he demanded softly. “No.”

It went silent for a second before he spoke. “I can’t fuck you like that, kotyonok.” I didn’t want to talk to him right now, but I was also too curious to let the brewing question go. “Like what?” “How you need it.” I pulled my lip between my teeth, the uncertainty and feelings inside going up and down like a yo-yo. The confusion became too much. The moment was just too much.

“What else do you need from me tonight? I don’t care if you send me five peach emojis, I’m not giving you my anal virginity too.” “Fuck,” he chuckled roughly. “Stop talking about being a virgin.” “Why? Does it make you feel guilty?” “It makes me want to be the first to take your ass too.”

A second passed, and I thought he wanted to laugh, but the humor was contained by the intensity in his gaze. “As much as I wish otherwise, there is nothing about you I could find gross.”

“Fuck, kotyonok. Dazhe tvoya kiska na vkus kak klubnika.”

The heat of his gaze warmed my face, a groan rumbling in his chest. “Eta pizda byla sozdana dlya trakha.”

My gaze narrowed as it swept down her body—from her cheek resting on a curtain of long blonde hair, to the shallow breaths escaping parted lips, to the rise and fall of her breasts, and the sliver of visible skin that trailed to her navel. The view was a painter’s wet dream; the girl too flawless to be real. I wanted to slap her.

I shouldn’t have taken her so hard even believing she wasn’t a virgin. I especially shouldn’t have continued to fuck her after learning the truth, unable to find the will to stop right away. My conscience was having a party—with tea and biscuits and pathetic deflating balloons. It was uncomfortable as fuck. Especially because I could still taste her in my mouth, feel her fingers in my hair, and hear the sound of her breathy moans. All of it burrowed beneath my skin, settling something heavy in my chest. It felt like . . . cancer.

Running a hand across my mouth, I recognized Mila was just as infectious as her mother was claimed to be. She was clearly having ill effects on my health. The shimmer my eyes painted on her skin suddenly became clear: it was a warning sign near a pool aglow with radioactive waste. I needed to get rid of her.

The fair part of me said Mila didn’t belong here. Though another part surfaced, telling me I took her virginity. She was mine.

Under any other circumstances, Ivan would be six feet deep. The day he took Alexei’s side was the day he was dead to me.

Though a heavy weight sat on my chest over how things went down tonight and that I wasn’t sure I’d have stopped if Mila didn’t give in. I may be on a straight path to hell, but I’d never forced a woman before. I’d never lost all sense of control like that. It made me feel like the piece-of-shit clients my mother entertained. The only way I could think of to alleviate the feeling was to release Ivan—Mila’s friend/lover/whatever the fuck he was.

Knowing I was the first to be inside of her made me feel slightly . . . selfish, like a kid on Christmas morning who didn’t want to share his new BB gun. And just as that gun would be forgotten a week later, so would the irritational greed I experienced concerning her. Then I would have my revenge and never again associate yellow with anything but tropical fruit.

A heaviness pooled in my chest, snuffing out the anger within. “You hurt me . . .” The quiet words disappeared in a gust of wind that sent snow whipping through the air. “And I still would have helped you. I would have saved you when you were a boy, even knowing what you would do to me . . .” I was crying steadily, laying out my heart at Ronan’s feet in front of all of his men, while his expression conveyed he’d be more interested in reading the dull section of the newspaper.

A shiver coasted through me, my chilled body absorbing the heat of his. “I’ll hate you forever if you hurt him,” I said numbly. “Your dramatics are a bit much for a Tuesday morning.”

With a noise of frustration, Ronan grabbed my face and turned it to his. “You’re going to eat every goddamn crumb on that plate.” I met his eyes. “I will if you promise you won’t do anything to Khaos.” “I don’t have to promise you anything.” Something told me he didn’t hand out promises often, and if I got one from him, he would uphold it. “You don’t have to,” I said softly. “I’m asking you to.”

I turned to face him. “Why did you play with me for so long when you knew who my papa was from the beginning?” Ronan’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. I knew why he’d waited so long to follow through with his plan of revenge. He liked me. Every yellow, rebellious, heart-on-my-sleeve inch of me.

It was strange to see this man at his most vulnerable. Did he dream? And if he did, was it filled with blood and murder? We might not see each other ever again shortly, but a part of me hoped I’d leave him to dream of yellow.

Subconsciously, I reached out to touch the ink—though before I could, I was thrown onto my back on the bed, the coldness of a gun pressed against my temple. My chest heaved, my gaze on Ronan straddling my hips. He took me in for a second, almost as if he was confused. I found another weakness. He was weak right when he woke.

One hand braced beside my head, he ran the other across his face before dropping it and saying harshly, “I get enough easy pussy. I’m not in the mood for more.” His words should dissuade any woman and send her running to find literally anyone else. But I didn’t want another. Not to mention, he was incredibly hard against me. Who was the liar now? “You did this to me.” My eyes narrowed. “Now, fix it.”

“I don’t need your respect.” Her soft American accent crept beneath my skin, slid downward, and grabbed ahold of my cock just as I imagined her hand would. My gaze hardened. “You don’t know what you need.” “Maybe not, but I do know what I want.” It was clear what that was, but I found myself asking anyway. “And what do you want?” “Right now . . . you.”

“This is why I don’t fuck virgins. They get clingy as hell.” She laughed lightly. “I’m not going to fall in love with you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.” First off, “afraid” was the last thing I felt when it came to fucking her. Second off, what the hell? This girl could fall in love with a goddamn rock. Then my thoughts went to Ivan, and poison blistered through my veins. “Why not, kotyonok?” I slid my thumb across her lips, my voice lowering to a warning. “Is your heart already taken?”

With a growl of frustration, I sat back on my haunches in an effort to put some distance between us so I could think. Karma would bite me in the ass if I fucked this girl. I knew what she needed and that I couldn’t give it to her. My conscience was a goddamn cockblock. I wanted Mila so bad, the desire grabbed ahold of me, twisted beneath my skin, and demanded I take her. At this point, I didn’t think I could allow her to go even if she changed her mind. And the loss of control suddenly made me hate her a little bit.

When her hazy gaze lifted to mine, a ripple of darkness slithered through me. The lust in her stare was all mine. Until Saturday at least. The idea she would give those eyes to someone else afterward made me fist a hand in her hair to keep her stare on mine. Fuck karma. I needed to get this shit out of my system right now.

Feeling like I needed to make myself crystal clear, I said, “I’m not going to fuck you slow and sweet.” “Bummer.” She pouted. “I thought I was in for something really romantic here.”

“It’ll mean nothing to me afterward.” “God, stop talking,” she said with frustration. “I’m not that delicate. Just fuck me like you would Nadia.” My entire body quieted. The fact that shit just came out of her mouth sent a wave of fury down my spine. In a flash, I threw her onto her hands and knees, yanked her head back by her hair, and pressed my hard cock against her ass. “This?” I growled. “This is how you want me to fuck you?” She panted, not resisting the hold I had on her hair, before saying harshly, “As long as it lasts longer than two seconds this time.”

I was now more pissed than I was hard. And it had nothing to do with her revoking my man card. Mila didn’t seem to give a shit if I fucked her like anyone else, while I felt like setting Moscow on fire at just the idea she was imagining someone other than me.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, I pulled her back against my chest. She was panting; fucked into a soft, compliant haze. Her head fell to rest against my shoulder. I felt her heart pounding, her fingers gripping my wrist, and her breath against my neck. They weren’t things I usually noticed, and somehow, all of it created a knot behind my ribs. I skimmed my lips against her ear, my voice rough. “If it’s too much, tell me. Or I’ll stop right now.” I’d rather take a bullet than stop right now. “I told you I can take it,” she breathed. “I don’t give a fuck what you can take. I’m not into dishing out pain.” “You’re not into slow and sweet either. I don’t know what you want from me.” Insecurity touched her voice. “I want you to like it.”

Fuck. She wanted to please me right now. Why did she have to be so selfless? As much as it annoyed me, it also hit me in the solar plexus. I couldn’t seem to do the right thing with her. She felt too good, too soft, too fucking yellow. It was greedy as hell, but I wanted anything she would give me.

“I want to come inside you.” I had no idea that came out of my mouth until it was too late to stop. She sighed, giving me her lazy, nonverbal consent. “Don’t let me come inside you,” I growled. I shouldn’t even be fucking her without a condom—regardless if I was clean, and so was she considering her inexperience.

Her annoyance faded when I pulled out and thrust back in at an angle that hit her G-spot. A low moan rose up her throat. I realized I’d never heard her say my name before. And I suddenly needed to. “You want more, kotyonok?” “Yes.” “Then tell me who’s fucking you,” I demanded harshly.

I fisted her hair and tugged her head back so I could see her eyes. “And who fucks you from now on?” Until Saturday. Everything in me hated the idea so much, I thrust into her hard, forcing her next word out with a moan. “Ronan.”

Her lips were so soft, and I parted them with my own, slipping my tongue inside. The kiss went straight to my chest.

I caught my breath for a moment and almost laughed at the irony. A virgin made me come harder than I ever had before. When I felt the mattress dip, I automatically grabbed her wrist without looking. “I’m tired,” Mila said and pulled against my grip. Sliding my gaze to her, I saw she was refusing to look at me, her eyes on the door as if she couldn’t wait to leave. I didn’t know why, but I found it fucking irritating. I yanked her ass back to the bed beside me. She exhaled in frustration, and then I noticed the tear running down her cheek. Fuck. My throat felt tight. I knew Mila couldn’t do a casual fuck. I knew, and I took it anyway.

“Really, I’m fine,” she said just as another tear escaped. I wiped the tear away. “Malen’kaya lgunishka . . .” Then I rolled her underneath me and braced my hands on either side of her head. Before she could complain, her eyes paused on my shoulders; on the nautical star tattoo on each one. I could do nothing but look at her as she touched the pendant on her necklace.

The moonlight loved her. But not as much as my shadows.

“Ti slishkom ideal’naya chto bi byt’ nastoyashchey.” The words escaped me without thought, and when she looked at me with wet lashes, so di...

I didn’t expect for him to say I was perfect and then kiss me until I fell asleep. I hadn’t known he had that kind of softness in him. It was more than I thought I’d ever get. So why did I feel so . . . empty?

When my feet touched the floor, I turned to glance at him. My heart grew heavy at the sight. He slept on his back, an arm above his head. He looked so human, so vulnerable, so handsome, it stole my breath to even look at him.

He may not be a good man, but the world wasn’t black-and-white. He was all the gray in between. And I was falling for him hard—so hard, I worried when he was finished, there wouldn’t be anything left of me.

He stood and stepped toward me, determination in his eyes. I raised the barrel to his chest. The gun was so heavy, my arms shook, the trigger burning my finger. “Don’t. Please don’t.” My blood rushed so loudly in my ears it almost drowned out my voice. Jaw tight, he paused. “I can’t be the reason my papa dies. I can’t . . .” Tears ran down my cheeks. “Just let me go,” I pleaded. “That’s all I want.” He made a dark, disbelieving sound. “You’re a better liar than I thought.” “What?” My chest constricted. “Was this your plan?” he growled. “Were you thinking about saving your goddamn father’s life while fucking me?”