The Rhythm Method (Stage Dive, #4.8)

by Kylie Scott

Then he grabbed a white towel off the wall and stuffed it below my lower body. “The bath mat’s wet.” Whatever. He leaned to the side. “Shit. Ev, the liquid looks all reddish and pink. Think I better have a look and see if you’re bleeding.” “Okay.” “Neither of us want this, but…” “Just do it.” He gently pushed my knees wide apart and froze. “Ah, Ev?” “What?” I asked as the pain amped up once again. “Oh, motherfucker.” “You might want to push.” “No shit, Mal!” “Because I think you’re sort of having a baby,” he finished.

“Come on, little baby,” he said, staring determinedly at my crotch. “That’s it. You’re doing really well.” The pain dimmed again, giving me room to think. And my thoughts were not happy. “No. Wait. A baby? You’re being serious? Like really?” He grinned. “Yep. Isn’t that wild?” “But…I can’t be.” “Yeah, but you sort of are.” “A baby isn’t part of the plan. Not for another four or so years.” Tears leaked down my face. “No. You’re just being silly or something. I think I’d know if I was pregnant, Mal.”

“I mean, come on! How is that even possible?” “Not sure we have time for me to explain the birds and the bees to you.” “I’m on birth control,” I continued in a calm if somewhat shrieking tone of voice. “My periods are light and irregular, but they’re there.” Mal just shrugged. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you. Want me to take a picture and show you so you can see for yourself?” “Don’t you dare take a picture of my vagina!”

“I’m a terrible person,” I wailed. “A horrible mother. They shouldn’t even let me be a parent.” “Bullshit.” “It’s true. I drank coffee. I even had a glass of wine last weekend!” “And the pediatrician said your baby was a little early, but fine.” Mal rocked said baby over by the window. He gave David a tired smile. “Hey, man. Want to meet your son?” “My son.” David shook his head. “Fuck. This is…” “Wonderful,” finished Jimmy Ferris, taking a peek at the little burrito sitting in Mal’s arms. His smile was wide. “Absolutely fucking wonderful. Congratulations.”

“They spent half of the flight back debating the merit of llamas versus sloths for the nursery décor. Helping you out is not a hardship.”

David rose and approached the drummer. “Thank you, man. You were there for them. Helped Ev through it all. I won’t forget it.” Mal shrugged. “Geez. Don’t make a big deal out of it, dude. You’re embarrassing me. Now that you’re here, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. Be back later, okay?” The two men hugged with lots of back slapping. It was a beautiful thing. Then Mal came over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “Thank you for everything, Mal,” I said. “Anytime, Child Bride.”

“Have you ever seen anything so tiny and perfect?” “No. Never.” “It’s like I want to protect him from everything forever,” said David. “Yeah.”

“They learn how to go to sleep in the womb with all of the movement and the sound of your heart beating. Then they get out, and it’s all different, and they don’t know how to chill. There wasn’t much room in there by the end, so he’s used to being contained. All of a sudden he can fling a limb around and startle himself awake.”

Women really tended to heap expectations on themselves. Trying to be everything for everyone, all of the time. It was crazy.

On the other hand, I’d never felt such love. I loved my husband. David was the love of my life. But my heart seemed to have doubled to make room for our son. My sweet precious boy. It was nothing short of amazing how much I felt for him. The lengths I would go to for him. Being a mother was wild.

“He’s asleep?” I whispered. “For now.” Lena nodded. “Try not to lower the volume around him too much or he’ll never go to sleep unless everything is perfectly silent. And you don’t want that. He needs to adapt to your lifestyle a little. Learn to handle the outside world.”

As much as I loved my son, I still wanted to be me and have my own interests and have time for my husband.

“Let’s get you in the shower, stinker,” said Jimmy, giving his brother a hand. David laughed drunkenly. “You’re making me sound like I’m some annoying little kid.” “That makes sense since you’re behaving like a man child right now.” “Ouch,” said David, swaying on his feet. “Harsh, dude.”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I guess I thought it would be more fun having a child and all, you know?” “Fun?” I asked, stunned. “Are you serious? I get that our lives have been turned upside down with no warning. But I’m recovering from giving birth and trying to look after a baby. I need you to have my back right now whether it’s a good time or not.”

I had a list of worries in my mind stretching from here to the moon. Like how every day since we’d gotten home from the hospital David had gotten quieter and quieter, and I’d felt more alone. Doubts seemed to pour into the widening gap between us. Maybe he’d have been happier being back on the road with the band. Maybe he blamed me for having to cancel the tour. Maybe being here with me and our son wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life. The anxiety was endless.

What I knew was, he no longer felt like my safe space, my touchstone. All of these emotions were a swirling storm inside of me I didn’t know how to deal with. And denial sure wasn’t working.

Oh, fine. I forgive you. Let’s forget it ever happened. Love, Mal. I laughed and shook my head. Tiredness makes you receptive to the silliest of humor. It’s the truth. And this was exactly how the drummer got away with being crazy all the damn time. He was charming despite everything.

We didn’t really live a rock ’n’ roll lifestyle. No drugs apart from the occasional joint. No craziness apart from Mal.

“I hate this. You and Jimmy fighting. You and me being all messed up.” A sob caught in my throat, and I wrapped my arms tight around myself. Tears streamed down my face. There was nothing I could do to stop them. I didn’t even try. A stark expression crossed his face. “Ev.” As much as I wanted to reach out and touch him, it didn’t feel safe. Not that I thought he’d physically hurt me. But there was a wall between us now. One I didn’t know how to begin to take down.

“I need you to fix it, David. Because you’re mine and I love you and you’re the only one who can fix it, all right?”

“I was just telling her about kicking out Ben,” said Lizzy. Anne snorted. “Well…it works or you wouldn’t do it. I tried to kick Mal out once and he staged a sit-in. He had a protest banner saying love me and everything.”

Misery loves dumplings, apparently.

“I can’t talk,” said Lena. “My sister stole my loser boyfriend and married him. Though that only lasted two years. Not a surprise. She’s happy with an older man now. He indulges her every whim. I could have told her she was narcissistic and needed a sugar daddy. Pretty sure I did, actually. But the point I’m making is, families are weird.”

Guess respecting a friend’s privacy had a lot to do with giving that friend what they needed in that particular moment. And cross your fingers you didn’t get it wrong. Every relationship was tricky. They all took work.

Lena moved to my side and slipped an arm around my shoulders. “One thing at a time, Ev. Eat now. You have to look after yourself so you can look after the baby. Then we’ll come up with a plan for dealing with your fool of a husband.”

“Did my husband already do that?” “No. A person by the name of Martha, I believe.” “And she was happy with you?” My eyebrows rose. “You must be good. Okay. Carry on.” “Can I ask a question?” “Go ahead.” “Do I really have to become proficient on the drums as part of this position? I’m pretty sure that was a joke, but I just want to make sure.” “Malcolm Ericson was at your interview.” “Yes.” I nodded. “No, you wouldn’t have to learn the drums.” “And the speaking fluent Greek and fire twirling…” “Likewise, unnecessary.” “Got it,” she said. “Phew.” “Come on in, Jude. Let’s talk.” “Let me first ask: Are you open to having someone help out?” She gave me a small smile. “If not, I don’t want to waste your time. I realize this has been sprung on you.”

It both was and wasn’t weird to not have David here. He often travelled with the band, so not having him here wasn’t unusual. But it was like a dark storm cloud hanging over me and our son. The knowledge that things had gone so badly that he had to step back from our life together. Though he hadn’t stepped back, exactly. Actually, I wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. But everything felt sad and edgy and just generally off. Which sucked.

“She said that for new parents self-doubt and even anger at how you feel you’ve lost control over your life are normal. Ten to fifteen percent of new dads have issues with that sort of thing. Anxiety and mood disorders and so on.”

Otherwise the bitterness and resentment can get out of control. She also said it’s okay to mourn the fact that, for a while at least, we can’t just do what we want. Life has kind of moved on.

“The thing is, I walked out on you and our son, Ev. And I’m never going to be able to apologize enough for that. No matter that I needed to get my shit together, that I was going through some stuff. It’s pretty damn unforgivable. Me getting drunk and fighting and shutting you out. It was bullshit behavior, and I’m so damn sorry. Please know that.”

“What else did the therapist say?” His eyes opened wide. “She said a lot. We talked for hours. I had a lot of shit in my head I just needed to get out, you know? Then I could start trying to fix things. Get with the program and have your back the way I should.” I smiled. “I’m sorry this happened, baby.” “Sounds like it’s outside of your control. We can’t dictate our feelings. They just happen. But you’re dealing with it. That takes courage.” He nodded. “I didn’t want to disappear on you. But I didn’t want to make things worse either. And then I felt guilty for all of it, and it was just a fucking mess.”

And if I could have nuked the beautiful heavy wooden coffee table out of existence, I would have. But instead, I got up and walked around it and climbed into David’s lap. A place I’d needed to be for quite some time now. “I need some serious cuddling.” “That would be great.” He wrapped his arms tight around me.

I rested my head against his shoulder and breathed in the warmth and familiar scent of his skin. Because it was totally okay to hide from the world with my husband for a minute. We were together. We were good.

“Are you crying?” he asked, tone bewildered. “Hush.” I slapped a hand over his mouth. “Like I said, these last few days have been a lot. And then there’s ...

With care, he removed my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Love you, baby. We’re going to get through this.” “We will,” I a...

Also to feel like I did still have a life outside the home if I wanted one. Energy levels permitting, of course.

“Guess David doesn’t collect bespoke suits like Jimmy does,” said Lena. “His tie collection alone takes up a cabinet.” “And they are all extremely useful and necessary.” Jimmy flicked back his dark hair. The bangs were longer while the sides kept short. In keeping with him being the slick and smooth aspect of the band. “Oh, absolutely,” said his wife with a saucy wink. “Are you two hinting at bedroom games?” asked Mal with a frown. “Gross, guys.”

David turned to me and smiled. “Jameson Malcolm Benjamin Ferris.” Anne’s brows rose. “You’re naming him after the whole band? I love it!” “But his first name is Jameson, so he’s got his own identity. It’s just a little bit different.” Lena clapped her hands. “It’s such a great name.”

“There’s never going to come a time when I don’t want you, Evelyn. You’re my girl. No matter how old we get or whatever. That is a definite.”

David placed kisses on the arches of my feet, the insides of my knees, and on my slightly wobbly thighs. He licked his lips as he looked me over. Not missing a single thing. “No frowning,” he said. “Every bit of you is beautiful.” I forced a smile. He gave me a dour look before lowering his mouth to my cunt. The man did not mess around. Up through the lips of my labia he dragged the flat of his tongue. Oh. Wow. Yeah. Who even cared about cellulite? It was impossible to worry when my insides clenched and my whole body shivered with want. His strong hands held my legs wide open. And my husband knew me so well. How to make me sigh and catch my breath. Everything. Clearly he had no issues getting reacquainted with my lady parts. And with the attention he was paying them, he definitely held them in high esteem.

The tip of his tongue circled my clit before he suckled on my labia, making my blood run hot. His thumbs held me open as he French-kissed me down there. He licked me and loved me and ate me like a man starving. It didn’t take long before pressure built down low. A knot between my hips tightened more with each passing moment. Then he sucked on my clit and whoa. I came with a gasp, eyes closed tight. Everything was white and sparkling and wonderful. My mind drifted somewhere up among the stars. I hadn’t been this relaxed in a very long time.

“Baby, up you come.” He carefully moved me farther up the bed, into the middle. There could be no waiting. Not only was David wanting, but the baby could wake up any minute. We’d definitely learned the value of getting things done during his nap times. Since I was back on birth control, which had better work this time, he crawled over me and wasted no time lining up the thick blunt head of his cock. We both groaned as he slid home, the warmth of his body above me. My whole damn world right in that moment. I wrapped my legs around his hips and held back his hair with my hands. “God, I love you.” “Good,” he said simply and started to move. At first he was gentle, slow, and sweet. Which was nice, but it wasn’t really us. “David?” He nuzzled the side of my neck. “Hmm?” “Harder.” “Are you sure?” “And faster.” My smile was all teeth. “You’re not going to break me.” “Whatever you want, baby.”

As he pounded into me, his cock dragged back and forth over so many sensitive parts. It was like burning alive. How hot and real and raw we were. Sweat slicked our skin, and the scent of sex filled the air. We were all grasping hands and thrusting hips. Me rising to take him and him slamming home. If anyone walked away a little sore from our efforts, it really didn’t matter. The only thing we cared about was reaching that high together. One hand fisted my hair while the other slipped beneath my butt cheek, urging me on. Holding me close. Keeping me ready to take him again and again. And the whole time he stared into my eyes as if he could read me. Hell. I knew he could. Just like I knew him all the way. We were two halves of a whole and always would be. Our love had been tested, and we’d emerged victorious. Our lives had been irrevocably changed, and we were doing just great. Together.

His hips pistoned, and the tension in me grew higher and higher. He was strung taut like a wire, every muscle straining for release. The thick, hard length of him surged into me, filling all of the empty places. And the electricity surging up and down my spine dominated everything. I couldn’t come again so soon. Surely not. But David wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he knew my body so well. His hand slipped between us, skilled fingers teasing my clit. It was all too much, too beautiful. We were everything I’d ever need. The orgasm hit me with frighte...

When I opened my eyes, he lay beside on the mattress. The bead of sweat on his shoulder called to me and why the heck not? I licked his skin. Salt and warmth and love. That’s what he tasted like. “Did you just lick me?” he asked, cracking open one eyelid. “Yeah.” He laughed. “You’re wild.” “No. We’r...

I tickled his little feet. “I’m warning you, he needs a diaper change. I can smell it from here. It isn’t going to be pretty.” “Poop doesn’t scare me.” Anne smooched the top of his head. “We’ll clean you up in no time, my friend.” Jameson laughed in delight at all of the attention. “Somebody smells,” said David with a smile. “I can take him if you want.” “Ah,” said Jameson. Which I think was short for Da, but he wasn’t quite getting there yet. Whatever he was trying to say, it was adorable to hear him do it with such passion. “Exactly. Ah. I was just about to say that myself. You are so clever. Now back off both of you. The baby is mine.” Anne perched him on her hip and headed for the nursery. Jameson stuck his thumb in his mouth and grinned. What a cutie.

Out by the heated pool, Ben was busy throwing small children into the water. Much to their very loud delight.

“Everything is sorted. I’ll set the food out in a little while and we can eat,” I said. “Jude worked her ass off yesterday getting it all ready.” “She’s a nice kid.” “A nice kid?” I raised my brows. “She’s a grown woman.” “Yeah, I know.” He smiled. “We should find someone decent for her.” I turned to stare at my love in wonder. “What is this? Are you turning into a matchmaker?”

“Oh, boy. Time for another Stage Dive adventure, I guess.”