Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors

by Patrick King

If a person does the same unusual thing five times in a single short conversation, then that’s something to pay attention to.

Even their tone of voice only tells you about thirty-eight percent of the actual story.

Once you know what motivates someone, you can start to see their behavior as a natural and logical extension of who they are as a person.

People are motivated by psychological, social, financial, even biological and evolutionary factors,

someone who feels intellectually inferior may find themselves calling everyone and everything “stupid” or haughtily criticizing the efforts of others.

Very astute and observant people know that what a person insults you with is often nothing more than the label they can’t acknowledge they actually give themselves.

The next time you meet someone, quickly run through the following questions to help you see them on a deeper level: What is this person actively and consciously portraying to me right now? What might this person be unwilling to acknowledge about themselves? How might this unacknowledged part of themselves be unconsciously driving the behavior I see on the surface? How is this person making me feel right now? Do I feel like they are projecting onto me or triggering my own shadow? How can I communicate compassion and understanding for what’s in their shadow, right now?

A good indication that you’re dealing with someone who is wholly identified with their child self is that you feel yourself positioned as a “parent.”

Every decision we make is based on gaining pleasure or avoiding pain. This is the common motivation for every person on earth. No matter what we do in the course of our day, it all gets down to the pleasure principle.

People work harder to avoid pain than to get pleasure. While everyone wants pleasure as much as they can get it, their motivation to avoid pain is actually far stronger.

someone might be assuring you verbally and making promises but showing quick expressions of fear that betray their real position.

you are being lied to include lifting the shoulders slightly while someone is vehemently confirming the truth of what they’re saying.

Scratching the nose, moving the head to the side, avoiding eye contact, uncertainty in speaking, and general fidgeting

Nervousness is typically behind things like tightening the lips or twitching the corners of the mouth very quickly toward the ear and back. Quivering lips or chin, a furrowed brow, narrowed eyes, and pulled-in lips may also indicate the person is feeling tense.

Uncontrollable, fast blinking and making repetitive motions like twitching the cheek, biting the tongue, or touching parts of the face with their fingers can all indicate someone who’s finding a particular situation stressful.

Natural, spontaneous, and genuine expressions of emotion tend to be symmetrical. Forced, fake, or conflicting expressions tend not to be.

touching the forehead, rubbing the neck, fiddling with hair, or wringing the hands are all behaviors intended to soothe stress.

Puffing out the cheeks and exhaling loudly is also a gesture that releases considerable stress.

someone pulling their shirt collar away from their neck or tossing the hair away from the shoulders as though to cool off.

cross their arms as if to say, “Back off.”

Raising the arms to the chest during an argument is a classic blocking gesture,

Wide, expansive gestures signal confidence, assertiveness, and even dominance.

feet point in the direction they unconsciously wish to go.

If they “stand their ground” and stay where they are, they’re demonstrating comfort with the situation, you, and themselves. Taking a step back or turning the entire torso and feet to the side suggests that you may have gotten too close for their comfort. They may even take a step closer, signaling that they are happy with the contact and may even escalate it further.

For personality, the spectrum is extroverted (E) to introverted (I). For perception, the spectrum is sensing (S) to intuition (N). For judging, the spectrum is thinking (T) to feeling (F). For implementation, the spectrum is judging (J) to perceiving (P).