And there was you, last night, with tears rimming your red red eyes and you were in so much pain over someone else’s pain and it was gorgeous to look at and sent a knife into my gut at the same time. I felt the part where I should tip— get pissy or get hurt, but it didn’t come. Instead I placed your head on my chest and held it tight. I thought, I am lucky to be the one who holds you through this. I thought, I will be whatever you need. Why didn’t it hurt more? I am so used to the hurt. But your cheek was against my heart and all I could think was how I wanted you to be okay. That is no small
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