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Maybe we are all fools, one way or another, when it comes to seeing the totality of the people who love us—the people we try to love.
My problems came when I tried to fit myself into someone else’s life, especially when that meant giving up a part of myself in the process.
Which is when an amazing thing happens. Bailey doesn’t cringe when I’m referred to that way. She doesn’t thank me. She doesn’t even look at me. But she doesn’t cringe, which feels a little like the same thing.
That there is a right thing to do and there is a wrong thing to do. Simple. Judgmental. And if you are the person someone is asking that question about, you have chosen wrong—as if the world is divided between the people who have never made a big mistake. And the people who have.
I thought if I were nice enough, sweet enough, she’d understand she could count on me. But that’s not how you learn you can count on someone. You learn it in the moments when everyone’s too tired to be sweet, too tired to try hard. You learn it by what they do for you then.