Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Exercise Grab your journal or a separate sheet of paper to complete the following exercise. When boundaries are violated, it’s critical to have a conversation about what happened and how you felt about it. Because we can’t control others, we must focus on what we will say or what actions we can take if the violation is repeated. Below you will find examples of each type of boundary. Read the scenario and consider what you would do or say for each. Physical boundary example: Your coworker enters your cubicle while you’re busy completing a task. When you don’t respond, your coworker persists by leaning over you at your desk. Consider what you would do or say to set a boundary in this scenario. Sexual boundary example: Your friend’s husband makes comments about his sexual prowess. He then begins texting you provocative innuendos, which makes you feel uncomfortable. Consider what you would do or say to set a boundary in this scenario. Intellectual boundary example: You just ended a ten-year-long friendship. You’re sharing your sadness about it with your partner, who says, “You have other friends. Get over it.” Consider what you would do or say to set a boundary in this scenario. Emotional boundary example: You tell your friend a secret, and your friend shares it with one of her friends. Consider what you would do or say to set a boundary in this scenario. Material boundary example: A friend asks to borrow your shirt. The last time you loaned them a shirt, they returned it with...