Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

I don’t make mean comments about myself either in my mind or out loud in front of others.

When I notice issues in my relationships, I honor myself by speaking up.

If you don’t uphold your boundaries, others won’t either.

When you engage in activities that you don’t enjoy, you are taking time away from yourself. When you get distracted with other people’s stuff, you take time away from yourself. When you spend time that you don’t have to spare, you take time away from your goals.

Taking regular breaks and not working yourself to the bone

Going on affordable vacations

Allowing yourself to feel your feelings without judging t...

Finding healthy ways to manage your emotions

When you don’t keep your word to yourself, you are engaging in self-sabotage, self-betrayal, or people-pleasing.

Confidence in your boundaries is the cure for self-sabotage.

Pretending to be someone other than who you really are

You get to decide what you feel comfortable sharing as well as which people you wish to tell your personal business to.

Having uncomfortable conversations can save relationships.

Staying quiet will piss you off.

Boundaries are not common sense; they’re taught.

I have cautioned them, “The more you appear to handle, the more work you’ll be expected to handle.”

Getting out of the workplace is a meaningful way to restore your energy.

Take your lunch break away from your desk. If you must sit at your desk, don’t work through lunch. Take this time to meditate, watch an episode of The Office, go for a walk, or have lunch with a coworker while chatting about non-work-related things.

Give yourself permission to have boundaries at work. Just because you’re at work doesn’t mean you can’t set limits. Holding back about what you need will create resentment toward your coworkers and employer.

If your job is stressful, limit the way you talk about it with others, unless it’s your therapist. Ruminating about all the things you hate will not improve your feelings.

It’s true that setting boundaries will sometimes upset others. Consider this: work is where people spend the majority of their time, and your time is valuable. Therefore, being comfortable in the space where you spend the most time is essential for your well-being.

But at what cost?

I’d rather deal with the discomfort in the short term than resentment and frustration in the long term.

Then, once you start setting boundaries, stay the course, because consistency is the most crucial part of the process.

Creating healthy boundaries is how you ensure that you’re happy and well in your relationships and in life.

Only with boundaries can you peacefully coexist with others.