Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

This reflects the number one reason that people avoid setting boundaries: fear of someone getting mad at them.

adult children of alcoholics can have a difficult time setting limits. Parents with addiction issues often send the message that a child’s boundaries are not more significant than the parent’s addiction. So these children grow up struggling to understand and define limits.

Healthy boundaries are possible when your past doesn’t show up in your present interactions. They require an awareness of your emotional, mental, and physical capacities, combined with clear communication.

More examples of passive-aggressiveness: Appearing upset but refusing to admit it Making verbal attacks not related to the current situation Being moody for no known reason (often) Bringing up issues from the past Engaging in problem-focused complaining Gossiping about things you could fix but have no intention of addressing

Also, if you need to say no to a request, skip the apology. Try saying something like this: “Thanks, but I won’t be able to make it.” “I can’t help you this time.” “I hope you enjoy yourself, but I won’t be able to make it.”