The Seven Day Switch

by Kelly Harms

Momentarily meditate on the sad state of your own six-year-old underpants.

bro romp with the guy from Arrested Development and one of the Hot Ryans.

It did not go. It will never end. I will never get to the part where I sink into a comfy chair with a glass of wine, because this is the longest day of my life.

huge mortgage, one good salary, one crap salary, and very expensive kids.

The math on that kind of lifestyle means we look rich—a big house, two cars, fancily clad kids in any activities they desire, and takeout five days a week.

Yet we feel poor—no money left over to travel, no time to sleep, no energy for sex, books, hobbies, home cooking, the stuff that makes you stop ...

still have moments when I feel lonely, misunderstood, and overlooked.

This, my mom would have said, is what it means to commit yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re never lonely or distracted. It means you’re lonely or distracted and you give your whole heart anyway.

I’ve always wished people could resist asking each other what they do for a living in first meetings, but I understand the need for a shortcut to connection. Now I learn that for Celeste, the question shuts down any hope of connection, and my answer seems to make most people uncomfortable. People respond by saying, “Lucky you, Hugh,” as though I’m not there. They say, “Don’t you miss working?” One woman even wonders aloud how much money Hugh has to make to make such a lifestyle affordable.