Junkyard Spaceship (Junkyard Pirate, #3)

by Jamie McFarlane

“Two Beltigersk symbiotes in one life seems like a nice number,” she said. “Although, I dearly miss Thomas’s keen intellect and gentlemanly ways.” AJ grinned at Beverly. “I believe that slight was aimed at me. Thing is girls all say they want a gentleman. It’s a story they tell themselves.”

"I was in 'Nam, kid," AJ said. "I can smell a spook a mile away. If I'm right, you've got no legal grounds to hold a US citizen." "I've captured an alien, who happens to be surrounded by a US citizen, who I've placed in protective custody." "Love the conversation: lies wrapped about misleading statements. You're a douchebag. Now, uncuff me. You have no right to hold me," AJ said, rattling the chain.

"I've learned a lot while working with you, Albert Jenkins," Beverly said. "Some of it has even been useful."

"Why does it feel like this is a poor idea of epic proportions?" "Probably because it is. Feel like some meatloaf?"

"Many work for the enrichment of all, but even more seek their own riches without concern for the impact upon others. Does this change your mind about helping?" "Don't get your panties in a bunch," AJ said, settling back into the cushions. "Just want to make sure we're all singing from the same hymnal."

"Duplication is an evolutionary tool. A species with two of a certain appendage or a particularly useful organ is more likely to survive than a species without those features," Beverly said. "I've only got one nose and one… well, you know," AJ said. "Just goes to show how important both of those are for evolutionary advancement," Jayne said, raising an eyebrow. "Hate to argue, but I can live without my nose. I’m not participating in evolution at all without my business." Beverly shook her head. "As preoccupied as you are about this single appendage, it seems unlikely it could ever come to harm."

Jayne was aghast. "I can't believe you brought guns on a diplomatic mission!" "You want one? I brought one for you," he said. "This is wrong on so many levels," Jayne said, holding out her hand. "Give me the gun."

"Got that when we were in 'Nam, too," AJ said. "Put a gun in a guy's hand and then act surprised when someone gets shot."

"We're gonna try to exit. It's not gonna look pretty. We'll be unarmed," AJ said. "We're reading that our atmospheres are close enough that we'll be comfortable." "Unarmed?" the captain asked. "That does not sound comfortable." "No weapons," AJ quickly clarified. "Ah, odd saying. You are not required to remove your weapons and I recommend reading about the restrictions for their legal use. Probably best if you don't shoot anyone to start with."

"Well, pigs and pickled flat bugs! If you're not just a bunch of hairless apes." The male who stepped forward wasn't the tallest of the three males, nor was he the burliest. He had fine bright blue, tightly packed fur on his head and arms. His face was tanned, devoid of fur and had brilliant gray eyes that flashed in the bright light of the hangar bay.

"What in the blazing butt crack of Xandarj orange hind end kind of crap-toed pilot drags the bottom of their ship across my pristine flight deck?" a woman's voice bellowed from over forty yards away. "If you can't fly better than… What kind of pasted-together piece of ass-ended refuse is rusting… I can't believe I let that…" "That's Hangar Master Mads Bazer," Blue Tork said. "She's within her rights to dress you down, so don't be drawing on her if you want to live through the storm."

"Careful of this one, AJ," Darnell said. "She's got a thinker on top of those shoulders."

He understood that her willingness to share her feelings with him was important, but he wasn't sure how to make things right. More importantly, he wasn't sure it would ever be right. Violence happened quickly but effects were often felt for a lifetime.

put us at risk last night. I'll be fine after a few weeks. Pain is a tremendous instructor."

"Could you be any more dense?" she asked and climbed down from the bed. "Probably," AJ called after her as she slammed the door behind her.

"I am not so easily offended when called a chimp. They do not have tails and are not sentient, but they are overall very enjoyable creatures."

"Are you okay, Chok?" AJ had just noticed the small white Xandarj who'd managed to wrap herself around another chair. Her limbs, including her tail, were holding on for everything she was worth. "No!" she answered. "I believe I have watered this chair because of my great fright and I find I am angry and embarrassed."

"You didn't say we were going to need tools." The loud clank of metal caught AJ's attention as a tool bag flopped onto the floor next to him. "There's an old joke," Chok said, climbing over AJ's hip. "A human, a Beltigersk, and a brilliant Xandarj engineer walk into a bar…" "You do bar jokes?" AJ asked.

"Inertial systems are good, Blue Tork," Chok said. "And of course, we have bar jokes. Do we look like uncivilized monkeys to you?"

"You're as fickle as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers." "That's not a saying," AJ said, reveling in the rush of warm water over his skin. "I thought I was going to lose you, Albert Jenkins." He shook his head. "You shot me with a spearfishing arrow. What'd you think was going to happen?"

"You want to experiment on me." "I do." "And it's gonna hurt." "It is." "And you have no idea if it's gonna work." "I don't." "Then what the hell are you smirking about?" "I feel a little like a mad scientist." "Is it dangerous?" Jayne tipped her head to the side

"Yeah. Beverly said she needed to get home and help restore order," AJ said. "Alicia went all Carrie on us and tried to take us out. Nearly had us too if Jayne hadn't shot me with a speargun."

"That's not exactly what happened," Jayne said. He lifted an eyebrow. "Pretty sure that's what happened."

"This super morphine you've got me on, why is it the first time I've had it?" AJ asked disjointedly. "I mean, I feel like cotton candy and pizza all wrapped up in a cheesy burrito."